Chasing the Streets in Louboutin

Chapter 16

Mama threw down for a second time today. Cabbage with bacon in it, candied yams, meat loaf, mac and cheese, jiffy, and TJ made some black cherry Kool-aid. She cooked all of my favorites like she just loved me so much. I guess because it's my year. It's gonna hurt her heart when I tell her. It might even hurt me more to see her break down. Imma just have to go in strong and definitely have my sister on my side. Probably both of them at that.

Kalil stayed for dinner so afterwards, he wanted to take me to Baskin Robins to get some ice cream. Tazmin wanted to come soooo bad but we really needed this time to ourselves. I was definitely finna use this time to bring the topic back up and tell him how I felt.

"What's on your mind?" Kalil asked taking a spoon full of my strawberry cheesecake flavored ice cream. Any other time I would have cared but I definitely made him buy me a half of a gallon to take home.

"Nothing forreal.." I lied. I didn't exactly know how to bring it up without making me sound like a bad person.

"Man you can't play me, what's wrong wit you?" He asked again, making drop my spoon and pack up my ice cream.

"Umm...well...it's just like-"

"Spit it out." He demanded.

"Is this whole baby thing not getting to you?" I finally blurted out.

"What baby thing?! You pregnant?!" He yelled, acting brand new. "Aww hell nawl man."

"Kalil."

"What?"

"Shut the hell up."

"Yes ma'am."

"So forreal. How you feeling?" I asked getting back on topic.

"Bout what? The baby? I feel fine. You not thinkin bout-" he started before I interrupted him.

"Noooo noo....well...I don't know honestly." I said finally letting out the truth...

"Hold up. I thought you was against all that abortion shit man?"

"I am...it's just...I don't know. I don't feel like I'm ready for a baby. I wanna be somebody in life. I can't do that with a baby." I told him starting to cry. Here we go.

"Aww baby" he said getting up to sit next to me, bringing me into him. "You know you sound dumb as hell though right?" He asked killing the mood.

"Shut up! Why would you say that?" I asked before punching him in the chest before snuggling back up. Everybody was staring but I didn't care. Okay yes I did. I whispered into him and said let's go go the car.

When we finally got to the car, the conversation I wished would end continued.

"But real talk, bae that ain't true. My mama was making good money as a principal before she died." He said pulling me out of my train of thoughts.

"Wait, I thought your pops died and yall still live with your mom?" I asked real confused.

"Man, that's my auntie for real. She took us in we I was 15 and Kameer was 1. I remember like it was last night. It was just a year after pops died and mama had got real sick. She had ovarian cancer for two years and was so strong about handling it. But when pops passed she gave up on herself. She taught me so much without saying a word. Now whatever I do, I do because of them. They my bread and water. My motivation for everything. No matter they decisions, they told me not to give up cause I can do whatever I put my mind to." He told me.

It's so much about him that I didn't know, and so much I probably still don't.

He's probably gonna be a keeper and I'm probably gonna do him dirty because we rushed this shit.

Barely knew this nigga longer than a week and now I gotta have a baby and make him believe it's is.

It probably hurts me more than it will hurt him to know that I'm not gobna do right by him.

Hell, I still don't even know if I'm keeping this shit. I got so much to look forward too. Plus I got this track scholarship to TSU and was hoping to pick up some more.

Now who gonna want me? Ain't nobody gone even think I can keep my legs closed long enough to run on somebody track. Gonna probably talk about me cause I can't find no baby sitter so I gotta bring my baby to practice.

Wait, while I'm thinking about what school gonna want me, what nigga gone want me? They probably just gonna wanna hit cause it was probably so good a dumb ass nigga nut in me. But ain't nobody gonna want a bitch who got a kid.

Fuck this shit, I'm gotta get my mother fucking money up if I'm gonna keep this thing.

I don't know how Imma do this.....

But if Kalil wanna keep it, I guess I gotta comply with him since he think it's his...

I gotta talk to my mama...about a lot.

"Kalil?" I called, breaking my train of thought.

"Wassup?" He responded, I could tell he was bored cause I wasn't talking to him.

"Can you drop me off at home?" I asked, realizing I still have to tell the rest of my family, let along my mama. But Taz first.

"Yeah we going there anyways." He responded.

I texted Tazmin to make sure she was at home, then told Lala and Toya to meet me there.

We pulled up to the house and while I was getting ready to get out the car Kalil started fixing himself up to get out the car too.

"Uhhh....where you going?" I asked, trying to give him a hint not to come in.

"Uhhh....in the house." He said mocking me.

"No you're not..."

"Why? You don't like me no more?"

"Stop being childish. Fr. I'm finna tell my family."

"I should come with you."

"No!" I yelled. "I'm doing this on my own. Besides, once I tell my mama, it's probably gonna be best for you not to be anywhere near her."

"Damn. It's like that fam?"

"I ain't ya fam."

"My bad baby girl. Can I at least have a kiss Goodnight?" He asked me before I leaned in to him.

"You dirty man, real dirty." He said after I jerked away from him just before our lips met.

"Well Goodnight and good luck bae" he said kissing me on my cheek before I got out the car.

"Thanks, bye." I said real quick. Damn, I hate he catching feelings.

"Bout time!" Taz said as I walked in the room.

"Exactly cause I could've been preparing for my baby to come home tomorrow. This better be good." Lala said, knowing good and well she knew what she was gone do for Des when he got out the day after he checked in.

"Oh it is." Toya blurted out before I shot her a mean mug.

"Okay, yall not gonna just sit here and act like Toya ain't already tell yall." I said making their facial expressions change.

"Tell us what-" Taz started before being interrupted.

"Cut the act Tazmin, congratulations boo! Your baby is gonna be so spoiled." Lala blurted out.

"Thanks baby." I told her before hugging her

"As you can see, I haven't told them the whole story." Toya told me, making me snap back into reality.

"Ugh, okay well you guys and yall only, I swear if any fucking body else find out what I'm bout to tell yall I swear I'll never forgive neither one of yall and you might as well leave now if you can't hold water." I demanded, making things clear.

"Okay what is it, what is it?" Taz bugged me.

"It's not his."