Undisclosed Feelings

Chapter 4

After namin manuod ng movies ay umakyat na ko sa room ko, nagpalit na ko ng Pjs para ready to sleep na. Pero bago pa ko pumikit ay nagvibrate naman yung phone ko.

From: Yexel

Hey! Still up?

To: Yexel

Yeah. kaso antok nko. nyt.

I placed my phone on my bedside table nang mag-vibrate ulit ito. This time, it's a call from Yexel.

"Low." bedroom voice na gamit ko para naman makahalata na tong inaantok na talaga ako.

"Hello, love! I miss you."

"Did you call just to inform that you miss me?"

"Oo."

"You should have text me instead. I'm tired, Yexel. Bukas na lang tayo mag-usap."

"Okay. Goodnight,love."

"Goodnight." Ibababa ko na sana kaya lang narinig ko siyang bumulong. Mahina lang pero dinig na dinig ko, tahimik kasi dito sa kwarto ko.

"I love you, Denise."

Nagising ako around 8am, sa katunayan niyan halos tatlong oras pa lang akong natutulog. Hindi kasi ako pinatulog ni Yexel at ni Franz. Asar! Pano ba naman kasi pagkatapos sabihin ni Yexel yung ano..di na ko makatulog. At isa pa si Franz, naalala ko na naman kasi kung gano kasaklap ang pag-iwan niya sakin.

"Ate, anong nangyari sayo?Mukha kang zombie." tumawa pa si Pearl. Nagroll eyes lang ako sa kanya tsaka ko sinubo yung cereals ko. Kasalanan ko bang hindi ako nakatulog ng maayos?

"Anak, nakatulog ka ba? Bat ganyan ang itsura mo?" si mama naman ang nagtanong.

"Ma, bangag lang ako."

"Anong bangag?"

"Basta,ma. Yun na yun."

My Sunday went well. Nagsimba kami nung umaga, naglunch sa isang fastfood then umuwi sa bahay. Nagmovie marathon naman kami nung gabi. Just a typical family day.

Kaharap ko ngayon ang laptop ko, I decided to compose a new post in my blog. Last time I posted here was before the semester starts. Gusto ko lang may mapagsabihan ng problema ko. Dito ko lang nae-express lahat ng hinaing ko. Nahihiya kasi ako magshare sa bestfriend ko.

"I love you, Denise." I heard him whisphered before he ended the call. I don't know if he's serious or what. I don't know. Tomorrow, we'll have to see each other because we're on the same class. I need to pretend I don't hear a thing from him. I need to act as if I don't heard him whisphered those words. I just need to act natural.

"I love you, Denise." was the same words he used to say to me. But that was four years ago. You know what? Yesterday, I accidentally saw him at the mall. He talked to me casually. He talked to me like he didn't broke my heart. He acted as if nothing happened between us. It hurts. Seriously. It really hurts. That was our first meeting after our breakup. I don't know how to react but I managed not to look affected.

- SD

I posted then turn-off my laptop. Alam ko namang madaming makakabasa nun pero hindi naman nila ko kilala, anonymous kasi yung profile ko. Kahit ganun madaming nagpafollow sa blog ko. Siguro madami lang taong interested sa mga pinopost ko. Ako lang ang nakakaalam tungkol dito. I keep it private. Wala akong pinagsabihan kahit kanino. Gusto ko kasing sinosolo yung mga problema ko.

I'm standing in front of our house, staring at the guy on his bended knees. He's crying but he wiped it immediately. "Please." he said. Please what? I thought. "Please.. Denise, listen to me." he hold my hand and looked straight in my eyes. His eyes full of pain, agony, and regret. I can tell, he's begging but I don't know why. I tried to speak but I can't. There's no voice, there's no sound. I want to ask why, but it feels like I became mute. What the hell happened? Why can't I voice out my thoughts. I just stared at the guy's face. He looks the same. I wiped his tears using my free hand. "I love you, Denise." he said seriously. I shake my head as a sign of NO. No, he can't be! How is that possible? Tears fell from my eyes. He wiped them then hugged me tight. How I miss his embrace. It feels like heaven. I hugged him back. After a minute or two, he pulled away from the hug. I blinked twice, no, thrice maybe? What is he doing here? Where's Franz?

Sh*t what was that? Did that really happen in my dream? Err.. nightmare, I mean. I took my phone and checked the time. Geez! I need to get up. I immediately went inside the bathroom and do my things. Another hell of a week is approaching. Lord, guide me..please.