Dream Boy [Zarry]

18. Feelings

•[Not Edited]•

Harry's POV

"Good morning, sweetie." Mom lightly shook me.

"Hm?.."

"Time for school get ready."

I internally groaned not wanting to get up and do something that had to do with school. I was a bit too devastated to even do anything at all. Liam kept me company all this time and he was a good portion of distraction but not that much. In the end I went back to thinking about him. As crazy as I may sound, he means the world to me and by not having him close by my side I feel empty and without meaning causing many problems and paradoxes in my head. I pretend sometimes that we're okay and that we're in talking terms.

I wish he'd call, I wouldn't mind hearing his voice even though I'm upset with him. I wonder, well, still wonder why he did that.. Why did he call me to tell me such terrible news?

It just had to be this way. My heart broke, I could die from a broken heart but I guess the people around him don't give a d.amn, I'm tired of a pretentious circle that leads nowhere. Every time we got closer something would come up or something would stop it from continuing on.

"Last time I call you Harry!" She lightly knocked on the door knowing I was still sensitive to sound. (I'll explain later).

I was too tired to even get dressed properly so I just put on some lazy clothes that was made up by baggy sweats and a black t-shirt with my fabulous converse. Yeah.. Fabulous.. If only.

"Your breakfast is in the microwave, I'll see you later tonight be sure to do your homework and study if you need to!" And with that my dear mother left, leaving me and my thoughts alone once again.

"It's gonna be a long day..." I mumbled.

***
"Come on Haz, you have to cheer up!"

I sighed, Liam seems cheery alright..

"I'm not really in the mood Liam, I've had a shittier week, all I can do right now is at least get distracted not cheery. Being cheery and happy reminds me of.. him. He... Yeah. Just not in the mood." I complained.

"True, you can be distracted AND happy, how about that?" He smiled. I guess Niall called him again today or something, at least he's happy.

"I guess, what can we do? There's literally nothing to do around school."

"We can get in a club!"

"I have no time for clubs, thanks." I mumbled. There's this one club I'm interested in but now what will I really do with it if I can't share it with the person I want? No offense Liam.

"How about joining that one club?"

"Thanks for being specific." I scoffed and shook my head.

"The.. Oh! The culinary club!" He clapped.

"I was thinking about it but then I realized I had no one to share it with."

"Are you blind or?..."

"I see you, perfectly fine actually. I see you like I see reality."

"That's deep."

"Like the sea."

"Ah there's my Harry." He chuckled.

"I'm my mothers Harry, you didn't give birth to me."

"Sassy now are we?"

"That wasn't sassy, I was staring a fact."

"Ohh, sassy alright."

I wanted to smile so I gave him a half smile but I could still feel like light weight in my heart holding me down and telling me to be down. Liam is a great and amazing best friend but I guess my head won't let me realize it since my heart knows.

"Think whatever you want I have my own thoughts." I stood up and walked outside where the fresh air was instead of stupid made up air, called AC.

Liam followed me outside and sat under a tree. "Do you want to know something?"

"Depends what it is."

"Okay well it's about somebody you're feeling down about."

I sighed. "Save it Liam, a lot was said that day. I don't think I can handle more heartbreak."

"You really think I'd tell you something heartbreaking to make you feel worse? Ouch." Liam crossed his arms and looked away like a little 6 year old.

"I didn't mean it that way, it's just that I'm already upset and just hearing that he's doing better than me breaks me apart more."

"Who said anything about him feeling better than you? He's beating himself up mate, you just mope around all day and don't listen to a thing I say."

"You literally didn't say anything about the matter Liam, all you said was that we should join a club and that I should be cheery. Nothing about Z-... Him though."

"Well he's probably doing the same as you or worse. He's obviously the cause of this problem but who says you guys can't solve it? All it takes is conversation, what are you guys afraid of?"

"Rejection Liam, rejection." I sighed. That was honestly all, I couldn't bare the thought of having Zayn denying what we obviously have and rejecting me as if we never really had a chance. I know we had something going on if we didn't he wouldn't have kissed me.

My mom doesn't know yet, she just thinks we're drifting a bit but I told her everything was fine and he was busy with something else. I couldn't tell her the truth as much as I loved her and needed woman's advice.

"Harry, Zayn wouldn't just reject you unless there was a reason to, he was head over man! You guys just need to talk."

"There's a lot to be said but we don't know how to express it into words for it to be alright Liam, it's hard enough looking at pictures we took and trying to talk to them as if he was in front of me. I know that sounds weird but really that's how I cope. Plus, I had a damn dream about him and you know what? There he was nice, there he was loving, there he didn't listen to anyone but himself and his heart." I breathed. Zayn could've done it a better way instead of calling me and telling me it couldn't work.

Liam sighed deeply and nodded. "I understand Harry but everyone deserves a second chance to prove themselves and to address the problem."

"We didn't have a problem before, why do we have one now?"

"Because life isn't always easy and life is a roller coaster and you just have to be ready for the ups and downs that it has and you have to learn from every mistake you make. The roller coaster won't stop for anyone, you have to learn how to ask for help, advice, so you can keep up and so you have a lending hand when you need it at the moment it does down and you fall apart."

I felt a tear slip down my cheek shamelessly and I wiped it away without the regret of being seen as a baby. I didn't care, this was how I was feeling and Liam couldn't have made me feel better in any other way. This is part of why he's my best friend, he's always there for me, when I need him or not.

"Okay Liam, I get what you mean, lets do this. Let's go join that club."

We both slouched our backpacks around our shoulders and made our way around to the class the club would be starting at.

I'll show him, I'll have him back.

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A/n: Update, update! Sorry for taking a long a** time for this but school just keeps getting busier and busier! I've literally been stuck doing this chapter just because I've had so many things going on. But I finally did it! I update it! AHH!! Thanks so much for the 6k guys I love you all!

QOTC: What do you think Harry will do next? Or Zayn?

~Angie💜