Dream Boy [Zarry]

21. The Reason

•[Not Edited]•

Recap...

"So... This is what happened."
***

Zayn's POV

I sighed. "I honestly don't know what came over me that day to reject such an amazing guy like you Harry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen, you make me so happy and you make me feel so free.." I rubbed my hands together and looked away. "My grandparents hate gays, hate them. They almost found out that week we spent together and I'm not sure how but my dad was furious after.. I tried telling him to keep quiet that it would be okay but for some reason he and Louis were in on this thing they thought would make me be okay..." I looked back at him, his face still looked emotionless. I gulped down the nervousness and embarrassment of the subject and continued speaking.

"They wanted me to take hormonal pills." I said through gritted teeth. "And my dumb self complied to that demand of becoming straight for my inconsiderate father and best friend. I don't understand how they could be so clueless and heartless! A-and then how could I have been naive?.. How could I let them take over me? They had no right, I'm old enough to make my decisions but I.. Wasn't thinking Harry.. You have to understand that sometimes, for our family, for the better of ourselves, we make stupid decisions. Us adults, make stupid decisions." I shook my head and scoffed. "How could I have let them drag me down to that.. empty, bottomless pit hole they dug? I was burning myself ten feet under and not even realizing it." I looked at his beautiful face, I saw how much he was battling with himself and it was all my fault, I caused this.

"Harry.. I-I was so stupid, I needed time to think about it but what I really needed all that time that I was away.. Was you. Even if you don't believe me right now because of my actions.. I swear on my life I tried to come back.." I ran a hand through my hair desperately. "I called you that day thinking it was time to make it or break it, and I broke it Harry, I broke us.." I didn't realize I was crying until a tear slipped down my cheek, I wiped them away quickly as they came and continued to explain myself to the boy I had the biggest crush on.

"My dad pushed me to call you, tell you it was over, whatever we had. And Louis," I snarled. "He's not even my best friend anymore, he has to win that title back." I shook my head. "But back to the point Harry.. I called you thinking that by doing that all my problems would subside in a blink of an eye. I thought I'd be worthy enough for my dad, grandparents, my family. But truth is.. I never felt the same after that call. I buried myself in those sheets we spent cuddling, kissing, flirting," I looked up at him. "We were close so many times and I pushed that away because I wanted nothing more than my grandparents and fathers approval.. but over what? The fact that I'm gay or that I'm not? Because I can't change who I am." I got up and kneeled down in front of Harry, I took his hand in mine and pleaded with my eyes. "Or who I had fallen for."

"So you're saying..."

"Harry, I like you so much and you giving me a second chance to make this better would mean everything to me because I would at least have you over the loss of a family, and I'm okay with that." I confessed.

His eyes grew from surprise. "Y-you'd pick me over your family?.."

"And many more things."

He shook his head and gave me a small smile. "You're crazy.. You know that? You're super crazy."

"And why's that? Because I'm confessing how I feel about you?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Well of course not. It's just the fact that you'd leave your family for me."

"That's not crazy.. That's.. That's passion, the passion I have to be with you Harry."

"W-what are you trying to say?..."

I bit my lip. "Nothing yet Harry.. I just- I just want you to know that.. And I mean all this from the bottom of my heart. I want you back, I want how we used to be back."

He slowly nodded.

"So what do you say Harry?.."

"I.. I think I need to process this Zayn.."

My heart dropped. I should've known I messed up greatly and he needed time, just like I did. Karma sure knows how to play her role.

"Oh.. Of course Harry.. I'll give you as much time as you need.. You take your time but please think about it well.." I plead.

He nodded again. "I really will Zayn.. T-thank you."

"For?" I sighed.

"Telling me this, giving me the reason on why you did what you did.. But if I was in your position I would've done it a lot different but you know," he lightly kissed my knuckles. "This meant a lot, and I appreciate that you came and took your time and listened to your heart and not your head."

I always will Harry, from now on.

"Don't mention it, I would take years just to get you back." I kissed his cheek softly. "I'll leave you now with your thoughts, just let me know, yeah?"

"You'll be the first to know."

I nodded. "Thank you."

He gave me a small smile and got up, walking me to the door. I thanked him quietly and went outside after he opened the door for me. We looked at each other one last time before he closed the door and locked it. I just stood there.. Unmoving and thoughtful. Maybe Harry will give me that second chance but then again he'll always have a reason to reject me.

I shook my head to rid of that horrible thought, he would let me come back.

He will...

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A/n: It has been so so stressful for me guys! This whole week has been hell. I tried so hard to pass this 6th's weeks but I don't know, hopefully I will. Thank you guys for the patience of waiting!

I love you all and hoped you enjoyed this chapter! Now you know the background on why he called Harry and told him why they shouldn't keep going. :) Lil hoes over here, lil hoes everywhere.

QOTC: Do you guys have any questions for me???
(Ask anything, random even)

All the love thank you again!

~Angie💜