Online Diary

Push, Play, Stop, Rewind. You drown your heroes in red wine

Dear diary!

Summer break in just 2 weeks and  2 days and 29 days until NYC. Isn't that amazing? I find myself starting to like D, I don't know if I have mention him before. He´s gotten more handsome since I met him. I guess that is his personality shining through though. Although I don't like that he doesn´t wait for people somethimes he´s sweet. He´s playing the guitar, he´s funny. But I have to admit that I find A more handsome than him, although I haven´t talked to A much. Sometimes I think that I think too much about him. I doubt that he´s as smart as I thought he was.

Sometimes, I think that I´ll never find love. When I heard my friend M say that she saw V, a pervy old classmate of mine from 9th grade check me out I almost fainted. She always said that he saw me as a "sister" or just nothing more than a friend. And I knew that M.M, had a crush on me for a long time. That, though, turned into hate for a unknown reason. But he talked to me yesterday. I´ve always wondered if he have gotten over me yet. What if he hasn´t, or what if he has? I shouldn't think about that. I don't like him. Well, he had a cute personality but our lifes and goals were totally the opposite. I want a guy who´s exciting, likes adventure, sports and running. I also have high expetations on my future job. But his life is all about gaming and I don't know what. He surely doesn't like to workout, or make an effort in school. I just don't understand. I know that this sound crazy but my opinion is that he should have made a move if he liked me so much. On top of that, I had a crush on J at that time.

I find myself old. I´m turning seventeen this summer. My friend says that I have the middle age crisis, and it just maked me depressed. But at the same time, I´m longing to go to college. To live by myself or most of all - with a girlfriend. I want to know what I want to do with my life but I just can't do it. And the more I think, the more nervous I get. And I can't even sleep someitmes. It´s pretty disturbing. What I do know is what I have to do before I get old lol. I want to travel the world and just explore it, I want to meet people and party. I want to tell my children and grandchildren exciting stories when I get old. I want to meet my special one, who will treat me like a princess. I want someone to love me no matter how I look. Well I should stop talking about "love". But on the other side, I shouldn't. This is my diary, and my story. Until next time wattpadders!

xoxo