Online Diary

Silence is a girl's loudest cry

Hi Diary and Wattpadders!

It´s really been a while huh? I´m sooo sooo sooo busy, you don't even want to hear about it. Well what I can tell you, is that I feel drained. I have no energy, and today ... I freakin ran 4,5 kilometres and them played badminton. My legs are starting to hurt lol.

I feel attracted to A, well he may not be as amazing as I think he is. But he is funny, sporty and good looking. But he doesn't seem to notice me at all. Also, a while ago I found out that J deleted me from his Facebook friends. That really hurt my heart. I don't know why though, is it the memories of us? We never were a couple, just ... I don't know. Teasing each other? I shouldn't think about it.

I think that I´m too shy with guys. Can it be my upbringing? My parents doesn't want me to get a boyfriend until I finish my studies. I think that is just crazy. But well... I can say that I can't think of one reason why someone would like me. I know ... I have pretty bad confidence too. Although I don't admit it, I feel like that, deep inside of me. It´s so easy to hide everything behind a smile and act like nothing. But at night, or when I´m all by myself. These thougts are bothering me. Sometimes, I feel like nothing I do is enough ever. I want to be liked, loved, admired. Well, looks like someone has watched too many dramas.

if your alone right now, that doesn't mean your forever alone. It´s just that God says "I´m going to save her for someone special", That's what I convince myself...

xoxo