Online Diary

There's a part of me that will always be in love with him

Dear Diary

Today has been a dramatic day, I´ve been doing a lot of work - for example the Apollo programme and a text about glasses. I´ve also been training badminton but I feel that it didn't go as well as I wanted it to go. I feel that life is great right now, well a few things to worry about but nothing big I hope. Sometimes I just wished that I was somebody else, you know that girl who´s so skinny or pretty, that girl that stands out, that girl that is just perfect. But deep inside I know that no one is perfect, it´s only human to make mistakes.

I´ve been thinking of my headline - There´s a part of me that will always be with him. I´ll call him J. Maybe he was my first love, maybe he wasn't - I´m not even so sure about it myself. There was a time in school when he talked to me everyday, he teased me, took my keys and just gave me his attention all the time. Even my friends said that they could tell that he liked me. I didn't know why we didn't take the next step, I think that I was afraid. Of what? Well, to be rejected, and what if he was just playing with me, maybe he didn't like me. I can say to you all that he has got a girlfriend right now - jealous much? I don't know. I feel like he was my real first love, I was just too shy to admit to my very best friend M. Secrets ...

To the next topic, secrets. Do you feel that it´s right to have secrets from your very best friend? I would feel kinda betrayed if my best friend M didn't tell me some of her secrets. I mean, that´s what friends/sisters for! I felt betrayed by my childhood friend whom I don´t talk to anymore. She demanded for me to tell her all my secret while she didn't tell my anything. So we drifted away, as I said yesterday, or was it Sunday? Well my opinium - Best friends shouldn't keep secrets from each other! M knows me pretty well, and I know her too. A friendship is based on trust like any other relationsship. Well, I don't call M my best friend, I call her my sister! But now that we´ve started high school, diffrent lines I can feel that we don´t socialize that much anymore.

Well, writing makes me relax, and I don't know what to write anymore. See you later maybe?

XOXO