Chapter Twelve
I shut the door behind me , Kimberley had walked several paces in front of me the whole way from the taxi to the door. I can’t pretend I didn’t know why, but I was scared. We’d already had a whiff of the media and the sh!t they write sometimes, she grabbed my hand and in front of all those photographers, I thought what will they do when they know we’re together. They’ll murder us, wanting to know all the details. Poor Kimberley didn’t deserve that, I didn’t handle it well at all I knew that though.
I was a coward and didn’t want to bring it up, so I stayed quiet. Getting ready for bed quickly and quietly whilst she did the same in the bathroom, I walked into the kitchen, suddenly having an urge for water. Not that I’d had that much alcohol tonight, the atmosphere most of the night had been tense, the girls had been their usual chirpy selfs, but there was something not right, and that something was me and Kimberley. When she was tense I was tense and it wasn’t a good mix. Having a quick cuddle with Buster, I made my way back out into the front room, heading towards the bedroom, when the door of the bathroom opened, I met her eyes, she had been crying, whether she wanted me to know or not, here it comes,
“What the fcuk was tonight about Cheryl?” She spat, doing well to hide her emotional state.
“What was what?” I asked, trying to play the fool.
“You know exactly what, you dropped my hand like I had a disease when we got out the taxi, you ignore me most of the night and then you -,” she paused for a second, trying to keep her emotions in control, “- you introduce me as your ‘flatmate,’ What the hell is that meant to say to me Cheryl?”
“I – I -,” I stuttered, not really sure how to make up for it, “I got scared Kimberley,” was all I could say pathetically.
“Scared? Scared?” She repeated, making it seem even worse to me, “Scared of what exactly? That you’d be shown up by your girlfriend? Or flat mate? I forget what I am to you these days,” she laughed cruelly at her own joke, although it was not funny.
“No, nothing like that at all, it just slipped out,” I protested. Why was I not talking properly, anyone else I had no trouble arguing with, but with Kim, it was like a whole new me.
“You’re embarrassed aren’t you? You’re embarrassed of me, you’re embarrassed you have a girlfriend,” she shrieked, I’d never seen her like this before.
“No, Kimberley, you’ve got it all wrong, I swear. I just got panicked, and suddenly started thinking, you know what the media is like... All that crap they write, imagine what they’d do to us, to you. I was trying to protect you!”
“Protect me? I don’t need to be protected Cheryl, what I need is to not be humiliated by my so called girlfriend,” she fumed, pacing the room, I on the other hand was stood deadly still.
“Don’t say that, I was trying to do it for us, for you,” I protested again.
She ignored my comment, carrying on her deserved rant, “Even if dropping my hand in front of the cameras like I was a piece of sh!t wasn’t bad, introducing me to one of your friends as your fcuking flatmate? That’s not protecting, that’s just keeping face,” I’d never heard her swear so much.
“It wasn’t like that. You don’t know Steve he-,”
“Yeah you’re right, I probably don’t know Steve like you do,”
“What the fcuk is that meant to mean?” I asked, questioning her motives. She merely shrugged, so I continued, “You don’t know Steve, he’s the biggest sleazy, gossip ever. He’s not someone I want knowing my business. What we have Walsh, is so special to me, I don’t want anyone else getting in the way, sticking their noses in,”
“Well unfortunately for you Cheryl, things have got in the way. I just think you’re saying this to cover yourself, so you don’t have to reveal anything about us,”
“That’s not true!” I shouted, tears prickling my eyes. “You don’t understand,” I tried in vain.
“Oh I think I do understand Cheryl. Soon enough the media will know about us..Whether you want them to or not and then what? Are you going to stop going out in public with me? Stop living with me? Then what Cheryl?”
Her questions completely overwhelmed me, “you’re reading to much into this I swear Kim, please, can we just go to bed, I’m so tired,” I mumbled, rubbing my head, I could feel a headache coming on.
“Yeah well I’m tired of this too Cheryl, I’m tired of coming second in your life and if you think I’m sleeping anywhere near to you tonight you’ve got another thing coming,” she said, heading towards the sofa. I turned around to follow her movement,
“don’t be silly Kimberley, please just come to bed,” I begged, crying.
“This might be silly Cheryl, but I can’t be near you right now,” she said, in a softer tone. I’m pretty sure I saw a tear roll down her face, exactly the same as what was happening to me.
Admitting defeat I turned back around heading towards our bedroom and shut the door. That’s when the tears started to really pour, I crawled into bed and lay there. Not even really attempting to fall asleep, not that I’d be able to anyway.
I knew what I did was wrong, I realised how it looked. But it was meant with the best intentions, but it obviously didn’t go down that way, but can I really blame her. It did look awful I knew that. I wasn’t sure how this was going to be fixed.
After laying there for what felt hours and indeed it was hours, I got up out of bed to get some tablets, my headache getting too much to bear. I entered the front room, where all the lights were on and the T.V was playing softly, I could just about make it out Kim on laid flat out on the sofa, fast asleep. I sighed loudly and deciding that she must be cold, I grabbed a spare blanket from our room and placed it gently over her, trying not to wake her. I turned off the T.V and couldn’t help myself but just stare at her beauty for a little while.
When I realised that what I was doing was seriously weird, I headed back into my own bed, my headache forgotten about, but my tears were falling more then ever.
