Chapter 21
I watched her for a time, she had drifted off with her head on Hilda’s lap, this was one strange night. It wasn’t awkward between us, but then again it was weird to think she was once my girlfriend and we lived together, did everything together, now it was just like we were two ‘friends’ and nothing more.
She still looked stunning, even if she wasn’t all dolled up like I was so used to seeing her in all the magazines, she looked just how I loved her, her hair was tied up in a loose pony tail with her fringe sweeping across her face as she slept, I sighed,
“Cheryl,” I whispered, shaking her slightly, thinking it might be best if I wake her up, “Cheryl,” I repeated a little louder,
She started to stir, opening her eyes , “sh!t,” she mumbled,still the Cheryl that threw an obscenity into almost every sentence, “how long have I been out?”
I laughed, “about as long as Hilda has been,” I teased.
She frowned and pouted, sitting back up in her chair, “you haven’t lost your wit then,”
“No, I haven’t,” I smiled proudly, noticing the sudden sadness in her eyes I dropped my smile and looked back towards Hilda, eventually saying, “you should go if your tired, I’m okay here,”
“No, I’m fine honestly, I’m staying,”
Knowing I wouldn’t break her I nodded, “fine, but lets go get a coffee, I don’t want you to pass out again,”
“I’ll ignore that comment,” she said, standing up and letting me out the door first. “Here you go here’s some change, I just need to make a phone call quick, me battery’s died, so I’ll be over by the pay phone,”
“Cheryl!” I exclaimed, pushing her money away, “It’s a cup of coffee, I think I can manage,”
“well I was just being polite, I didn’t want you to feel you owe me anything,” she shrugged, but she was smiling, “I won’t be long,” she said, heading towards the pay phone.
I headed off in the opposite direction towards the coffee machine and collected two coffees with extra sugar for Cheryl, I knew that was how she liked it, I walked back down the corridor and heard Cheryl on the phone around the corner, I stopped and couldn’t help but over hear her conversation,
“Yeah I know it’s the middle of the night.... I’m sorry... Yes but I have to do something tomorrow now....We can rearrange surely?...I know he’s flown in especially but we can do it later in the week can’t we? There’s nothing I can do... Okay thanks.. Bye..”
“Here you go,” I said, approaching Cheryl and handing her the hot coffee.
“Thanks,” she said blowing and sipping it, “haven’t forgot how I like it then?” She laughed, leading the way back to Hilda’s room.
“Cheryl, you’re the only person I know who has more then three sugars in their coffee! I don’t see how you look so good!” I didn’t realised I’d said it till I had and I blushed wildly as I took my seat opposite her again. There was no change in the way Hilda was, still laying peacefully.
“I’m just not sweet enough,” she joked, hopefully oblivious to my comment and blushes.
“Quite,” I teased, “Sounds like your in demand , I couldn’t help but over hear your conversation,”
She shrugged, “it’s nothing really,” sipping on her coffee.
“It sounded like something,” I replied, wanting to know what it was about.
“Just this producer guy was flying in from America – just for a meeting about maybe an album, but I don’t know,” she said casually, not meeting my eye. “But don’t tell me to go meet him, I want to be here,”
“Well I would of told you to go, but it’s clear you probably won’t listen,” I said, raising my eyebrows.
“You’re right, I won’t,” she said smugly.
“Sounds good though – an album,” I tried to be positive against the huge pang of sadness in my body.
She shrugged again, “yeah, well we’ll see,” I got the feeling she didn’t really want to talk about it anymore so I left it, leaving an ugly silence to fill the room.
We were both quiet for a time, just mulling over our own thoughts, we were getting on well, but I couldn’t help think that we were just sweeping stuff under the carpet in order for today , this wasn’t going to be the start of a friendship or anything more again, we both knew things were still not right.
I can’t say that hearing Cheryl had an album meeting didn’t hurt, I mean she was entitled to do what she wanted, she didn’t have anyone else to worry about now, but it was like a final blow. No matter how much I wanted her, or she wanted me (if she even did), I couldn’t deal with her life now, if it was bad before it would be even worse now,
“How’s the production going?” She said, waking me up from me thoughts, “I read another great review the other day,”
“Yeah it’s going great, tickets are still selling – so I must be doing something right,” I smiled.
“Well I saw you in it loads of times and loved it – and I don’t even like musicals,” she reassured.
“Well that’s reassuring,” I giggled, taking a sip of my drink. “Oh, I’m vibrating,” I said in reaction to my phone buzzing away in my pocket, she just looked at me like I was weird, I ignored her look and answered the phone.
It was Hilda’s daughter, she was outside the hospital and wanted to know where Hilda was, I gave her the details and she was heading up,
“that was Hilda’s daughter, she got my messages and she’s on the way now,” I told Cheryl.
“Oh that’s good, do you want to go get another coffee from the hospital cafeteria? I’m not going to be sleeping again tonight so might as well get some more caffeine in me,” she laughed.
“I’m not sure if -,”
“Please Kimberley,” she almost begged, her perfect brown eyes boring into my own.
“Alright, I guess a bit more caffeine can’t do no more harm,” She smiled at my comment, seemingly very pleased I had accepted her invitation, did she really miss me this much?
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“I feel like a right rebel,” I laughed, pouring a sugar in to my new cup of coffee, sat at a table in the corner of the quiet hospital cafeteria. We had said our goodbyes to the still unconscious Hilda and her family, they were going to let me know any developments.
“Why?” She smiled, looking confused as stirred her hot drink.
“Because how many times are you up at this hour in the morning drinking coffee?” I explained, flinching at my first sip.
She giggled, “quite, you haven’t changed at all then?”
“What do you mean?” I quizzed.
“Well you’re still a geek,” she said simply, smiling wickedly behind her coffee.
I opened my mouth in mock offendment, “I’m not a geek!”
“You so are,” she teased. “But it’s okay, I like it,” she winked, making me blush and feel a little uncomfortable.
I didn’t say anything, instead just avoiding talking by taking multiple sips of my coffee, “I think about you all the time,” she mumbled, making me look back to her, she was looking down towards the table.
“Cheryl -,” I sighed, “please -,”
“Look,” she said looking up to me, “I know there was bad things said between us, but I’ve missed you, really missed you,”
I paused, the look in her eyes desperately seeking a reaction from me, “Cheryl, it’s not that simple,”
“Have you missed me?” She asked bluntly, almost begging for a honest answer.
“What?” I asked, slightly taken aback.
“Have you missed me?” She repeated.
“Yes, of course,” I said softly. “I just can’t handle it – you’re in every magazine I pick up, you must have work proposals flying at you and I know none of that is your fault, because you’ve worked hard for it, but I couldn’t handle it back then, no way could I do it now,” I answered, as brutal as it was.
“Oh,” she said, her disappointment clear.
“I still want to be friends Cheryl, I mean these last few weeks not talking has killed me,” I said, reaching my hand across the table to meet hers.
She looks at our hands for a moment, then pulls hers away, “but I don’t want to be friends,” with that she stood up and leaves the cafeteria without a second look back, she’s out gone out of my life, again.
