Chapter Eighteen
“Well thanks for coming Nic’s, I really do appreciate it,” I smiled as we approached my hotel room door. “- and I’m sorry you know, for all the tears,” I blushed, wiping my eyes.
“It’s okay,” she smiled, gripping my arm in reassurance, “I understand why, but you know what you need to do now,” she nodded. “Oh any by the way, I’ve had a text from Nadine, I’m not sure whether I should tell you or not, but I’m going to, Kimberley’s going to ring you tonight,”
I swallowed, “Really? No that’s good you told me,” I smiled, going off in my own world for a second.
“You will answer won’t you?”
I sighed, “of course, this has to be sorted one way or another,” I shrugged.
She smiled, pulling me in for a hug, “ Good, It really does. Oh and Sarah said to pass on the message she’ll come round this week some when,”
“I know,” I smiled, pulling away from the hug, “she text me this week,”
“And she also told me to tell you that if you don’t get this sorted out, she will beat you both up up,”
I laughed, “thanks for that,” opening the door for her,
“she means it in the nicest way possible,” Nicola laughed back, “Call me when you make any progress,”
“ If I make any progress, but will do, thanks again,” I waved her off down the hotel corridor, shutting my door when she went out of sight.
Nicola had spent most of the afternoon in the hotel room, it was the first time I’d seen or spoken to anyone face to face all week, I wasn’t coping all that well. I had cancelled any promotion work and meetings, putting it down to a ‘mystery illness.’ It was good to talk to Nicola, she understood how much I missed Kimberley, because she had been around us since school. I still felt like sh!t though!
Tonight I just needed to relax, but I didn’t think that was very likely as I knew Kim might possible call, I was broken from my thoughts quickly, I heard the door knock, thinking it would be Nicola again, I dragged myself up from my previous position on the bed.
“Oh – Steve,” I said, slightly taken aback.
“Well don’t act like you’re glad to see me or anything,” he smiled, a bottle of wine in his hand.
“Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting anybody,” I tried to convince.
“Well can I come in?” He asked, as I had left him on the other side of the door.
“Uhh-” I stuttered, not really wanting company, if it wasn’t Kimberley.
“-Come on Cheryl, you’ve been avoiding my knocks all week,” he said, raising his eyebrows at the fact that every time the door had gone I had ignored it.
“Well-” I started,
“That’s better,” he interrupted, pushing past me, leaving me to close the door. He was already filling up some glasses with the wine he had brought in, maybe one glass wouldn’t hurt, would probably do me good.
“Get that down you, you look like you need it,” he winked.
“Thanks,” I said sarcastically.
“I’m joking hun, you look gorgeous – as always,” he smiled, looking me up and down.
A little bit uncomfortable at his looks, I turned around, perching myself on the corner of my bed, hoping he would take the hint to leave soon, I know he only meant well, but I just needed to be alone.
“Soo – I’m guessing relationship trouble? You have been here a week now, I thought you were with someone, I don’t think you ever said a name?”
“Kimberley,” I stated, clearer then ever.
I ignored his taken aback look, “really? As in a girl?” He asked, topping up my glass.
“Yes,” I replied.
“Well I wouldn’t of guessed that at all,” he said, almost like he was talking to himself.
“Guessed what?”
“That you’re you know – a lesbian,” he replied grinning.
“I’m not a lesbian, I was just in a relationship with a girl, I don’t think that makes me a lesbian,” I said, tracking back to many conversations me and Kimberley had had about our sexuality, both concluding that we weren’t lesbians, we were just in to each other.
Well if we’re not lesbians.. Then what are we?” Kimberley giggled.
I thought for a second, “you’re a Chezbian,”
“And you’re a Kimbian?” She giggled, playing along.
“Yes, I think I am,” I laughed leaning in for a kiss.
I smiled to myself at the memory, we were once so happy, “what’s funny?” He asked.
“Nothing,” I lied, sipping more of my wine to avert his gaze. As soon as I had finished, he topped it up again.
“So this you and this Kimberley didn’t work out?” He asked, sipping his own wine.
“It’s complicated,” I sighed, sipping yet even more of my wine, needing it somehow.
“You want to talk about it?” He asked, seemingly intrigued.
“Why not,” I shrugged, as he topped my glass up.
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“And then I might of said something about not loving her anymore – but I didn’t mean it and she had basically said the same to me, I was just angry,” I tried to convince myself, slipping over my words , the drink had taken over, but I didn’t care. “Fill me up please,” I ordered, putting my glass under Steve’s nose.
“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” He laughed, but still filled the glass up.
“No,” I frowned, gulping more back. “And anyways, yeah that’s how it was left and I haven’t spoken to her since,”
He paused for a moment, “you know, I think you’re to good for her anyway,”
I shook my head violently, “no, I love her, always have, and by the rate of things, probably always will,” I slurred.
“But if she can’t handle you making a go of it for yourself, surely you don’t need her in your life,” he said, looking at me over his glass.
“it’s not like that, you don’t understand,” I said, finally putting my glass down.
He put his own down too, moved to the bed and sat down beside me, “I don’t need to understand, it’s your past now,” he came so close to me, I could smell the alcohol on his breath, instantly making me feel sick. I stumbled into the bathroom, I didn’t realise how much I had drunk until the whole room spun when I stood up, I shut the door behind me and was violently sick into the toilet.
I looked into the mirror, dabbing at my damp eyes, what had I become? From the otherside of the door, I heard my phone ring, not really wanting to talk to anybody I was great full when Steve called, “I’ll get it,”
I walked back into the room, just as he was in the middle of the short call, “No, I’m afraid she’s busy right now..... Bye,”
“Who was it?” I asked, sprawling myself across the bed, just wanting to go to sleep.
I could already feel my eyes shutting before he even answered, “oh just the network, you know, trying to sell you deals, I’ll let myself out,” he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek,
I couldn’t find the strength to reply, instead opting to fall deeper into sleep, I was going to feel rough in the morning
