Chapter Sixteen
** Flash backs in Italics**
I pulled out my suitcase from under the bed, ferociously grabbing any item that I deemed a necessity, not really thinking too much about it. This was my way of dealing with things, I shouldn’t have to be sad, I just have to get on with my life. I tried telling myself that over and over, it wasn’t sinking in very well.
“Cheryl?” I heard her say quietly behind me.
I didn’t bother to turn around, just answering bluntly, “What?”
She didn’t answer, instead she just stood at the other end of the bed, watching me packing. Knowing Kimberley she was probably disapproving heavily about the way nothing was being folded, or packed neatly, more like being screwed up and thrown in.
“What are you doing? Why you taking it all out?” I asked, surely she was just wasting time.
“Shh, this is what needs to be done, you don’t want creased clothes when you get home do you?”Still pulling out my clothes and eyeing up the things she liked.
I shrugged, “don’t really care,”
“Well I care,” once she had pulled out everything, she started to fold them all, placing them carefully in the case.
I swallowed hard at the memory, why did I always remember little things like that? She was still watching intently, “just go ahead and fold it all if it bothers you that much,” I said coldly, she looked hurt, but in a way, that made me feel a bit better, for a moment.
She ignored the comment, “obviously I can’t take Buster to a hotel right away, but I will come and get someone to pick him up,” I said, still packing things, my cold tone not changing.
“What? Why do you get to keep Buster?” She asked.
I turned around to look at her, “because you bought him for me,”
“But he was our pet,” she said, her voice rising.
I shrugged, “whatever, we’ll work out something – god it’s like having a kid,” I laughed to myself, my emotions were all over the place.
I carried on packing things, you don’t realise how many clothes you have until you have to pack them all away into a compact space, I would just have to get one of the girls to pick up some extra things later on,
“Cheryl, you don’t have to go like this,” she said suddenly. She had been watching me all the while I was packing; her face looked a little sadder every time I looked at it.
“No Kimberley, I do. Maybe you were right, maybe this is the only way we can be happy, if we’re apart,” I said, trying in vain to get rid of the lump in my throat.
“Don’t say that,” she pleaded, as I rummaged around in the bathroom grabbing things, she was close behind me wherever I went.
“What do you want me to fcuking say? You called this Kimberley, you’ve obviously fallen out of love with me and to be honest, I’m heading the same way,”
I don’t know why I said it, it just came out, I looked away quickly, I couldn’t stand the look on her face, complete disbelief and hurt written all over it. She didn’t say anything after that, she turned and left the room, I took this as my cue to leave, I zipped up my case, rolled it along the floor, picked up my keys and left, without saying a single word.
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Having not even bothering to ring around for hotels, I parked at one which I knew was reputable, and worth the money. I sat in the car for a moment, a small group of men with camera’s were in one of the cars that had parked behind me, they had defiantly been tailing me, god knows what they thought of my driving, I’ll admit, even for me, I was driving erratically.
I fixed my face as best I could in the mirror, I didn’t need to be in magazines next week with mascara all down my face, it was too obvious I had been crying and once the media find some bait, boy will they milk it.
I left badly I knew that, I should never of said the ‘love’ thing, because on my part it was totally untrue and even I knew that she still loved me. I just said it because I was angry, I didn’t want her pity, I wanted her to despise me, because that way, it was easier for me to despise her, which would make her so much easier to get over.
However, even I knew my theory was a load of bull. How could anyone get over someone they’ve been with for five years? How could I ever get over someone like Kimberley? The thought alone was unbearable and I knew I would have to get out the car sometime, even though it was in no way sunny, I pulled on a pair of sunglasses, ready to brave the storm.
As soon as I opened the car door, a couple of men with camera’s swarmed around me, I tried to smile as best I could, not really sure if it would deceive the camera, thank god I had my glasses on, my eyes would tell the whole story. I pulled my suitcase into the hotel foyer and headed to the front desk, hoping I would be able to get a room, at least for the night.
Luckily the women on the desk recognised me and hooked me up with a room in no time, I walked down the corridor, approaching the lift,
“Cheryl?” A man’s voice called behind me.
I turned around, not recognising the voice, but recognising the face, “Steve,” I forced a smile. He worked for Will.I.Am.
He came bounding closer, “what are you doing in these halls?” He laughed, eyeing up my suitcase.
“I-,” I faltered not knowing what to say, he searched my eyes,
“Is every thing alright Cheryl?” He asked, “Come for a drink in the bar with me, I’ll cheer you up,”
“No, really, I’m alright, just want to get settled,” I said, trying to be as great full as possible, he kept persisting, eventually he held his hands up in defeat,
“Well let me know if you want anything, I’m in room 302,” he flashed a smile and turned back the way he came from, leaving me to find my room, which was decorated and furnished immacutly, but it still seemed like the ugliest, coldest place ever.
