Luke's Diary

Sunday March 18

Today, I woke up at 7:30 am and started reading my emails on my laptop. SOOO MANY EMAILS!!!! just then, Michael came into my room to apologize about what happened yesterday. I accepted it and he smiled and left my room.Wow.... That was quick.Anyway, out of nowhere, I was singing the song that I composed last year.It was called, "My girly diary". Actually, Redd knows that I'm a little gay.But she doesn't care because she still loves me. I am so glad to have a girlfriend like her! :) Right after I read my emails, I started singing "My girly diary" again while holding a banana and dancing. But my brothers were spying on me AGAIN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHAME ON THOSE PRICKS! Anyway, I got outside my house and went to the park.I had a cookies and cream ice cream, my favorite! I suddenly found a young girl crying.So I came to her and I asked her what was wrong. "My Mummy left me!" she cried and held my hand tightly."Oh, well I could take you back to your house.Just tell me your address" I said softly.Then she told me her address and I took her back to her house.She asked me if we could be friends, and I smiled and nodded. I told her where I lived just in case she wanted to visit me.Then I walked away quietly back to my house. When I arrived, I turned on the TV and watched "How I met your Mother".I slouched on the sofa and my fingers were tapping on the cushions. Calum sat beside me and he kept drinking from his wine glass.A few minutes later, he started to act drunk in front of me.While he went up the stairs, he slipped.When he went to his room, he bumped the wall, really hard.Yep, he was bloody drunk alright.( I'm sorry, I'm sometimes used to saying the word, bloody.If you are not comfortable to hear me say 'bloody', then I suggest that you skip this part ).Ashton showed up and he also sat beside me.He was holding a glass of wine in his left hand.I quickly left because I didn't want to see any more drunk people.Just then, I realized that my whole family was holding a glass of wine in their hands.So I  ran upstairs to my room and locked myself in there.I was holding on to one of my window curtains and I was sitting at the corner of my room, feeling flustered and afraid.But I heard everything downstairs.I heard Mom shutting the door of the kitchen.I heard Michael's footsteps leading to the playroom.I heard Calum stomping on the floor and having a huge tantrum.I heard Ashton screaming.And I heard Dad typing on his work laptop.I heard EVERYTHING.My neighbors, My family, My girlfriend, EVERYTHING.I suddenly heard white noise in my ears.It sounded like country music mixed with hip hop music mixed with heavy metal music.What has gone into me? did I have the power of telepathy? Am I abnormal? I don't know.I slowly tip-toed downstairs and saw Mom.I noticed that she didn't even take one sip from her wine."I'm starting to hear things.Too much things." I told her. "I could make you have an appointment with Dr.Sarah" Mom said, putting down her glass of wine.I nodded feeling bewildered because I didn't hear her clearly.Instead, I just waited for Mom to get dressed.While I waited, I ran back upstairs to my room and pressed my forehead to the floor. My hands were covering my ears.I could still hear the white noise.I felt irritated, so I kept on screaming. Redd came into my room.She said something that I didn't hear because of all the voices and the noise in my head.She said something to me again but I didn't hear it. All I heard were people's voices and white noise in my head.I suddenly said " Sorry" to Redd and ran out of my room.Mom was downstairs waiting for me to go to the car.She also said something.But I still didn't understand. Instead, I just went into the car and we drove off to the children's hospital so I could see Dr.Sarah. When we got there, I saw Dr.Sarah and lay down on the light blue bed."I could hear so many voices and noises in my head!!!!" I said, panicking.I was pretty sure that she heard me but I didn't hear what she said to me. "What??? I can't hear you!" I shouted.I saw her write something on her clipboard. It said, "Luke, relax.Empty your mind.Don't get bothered by other things, just relax.Breathe in for four counts, out for seven.Close your eyes.And do not move.". So I followed what she said.It wasn't quiet hard as I thought it would be. Dr.Sarah suddenly touched me and I got frightened because I was focusing on relaxing. So I quickly opened my eyes and kicked her legs.I didn't mean to do it.I just got frightened.That's it.The voices suddenly came back into my head and I screamed.I felt possessed by a demon.I was totally uncontrollable and I ran around the room.I kicked the tables, I punched the wall, I stomped on the floor, I used all my strength.I finally fell asleep a few minutes later.Mom took me home.And I woke up again to the sound of screaming in the playroom.It was probably Mom getting mad at Michael.Oh and good news, the voices and noises in my head are gone. All I needed was relaxation.Yeah that's right, relaxation.I was listening to "wild" by Troye Sivan this morning, when I heard Michael shouting at Mom.  Oh, again... Wow.  I also planned to send a message to Redd about my behaviour.

                                                                                               My message to Redd

Dear Redd, 

 I am truly sorry about my behavior yesterday.I had these voices and noises in my head, that I couldn't hear you.I was a jerk.I should have never acted like this in front of you.I'm sorry, I really am.What could I ever do to make it up to you?                                                                                                                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                                                                             Love, Luke

So that was my message.I secretly placed it in Redd's mailbox and I waited for her to see it.Eventually, she did. I saw her leave a note on my door mat and I read it.

Dear Luke, 

It's ok.I understand.I know you didn't mean it.But I still love you, no matter what

      Love, Redd

So right now, we were just communicating each other by sending notes.I sent another note to Redd.

Hi Redd, this is Luke. I need to give something to you...

Ok what is it?

its.....

Its a what?

its a...

please tell me

its a kiss

OMG! Did you just...

Yes I did

You just...

Yes I did, and it's for you

AWWWW! Thank you so much sweetie!

No problem, sorry I need to go to bed, good night!