Luke's Diary

Saturday March 24

My family transcript

Setting: bathroom

MICHAEL: Calum

CALUM:Yes?

MICHAEL:Are you gay?

CALUM:Uh Ye- WAIT WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THIS?

MICHAEL:Cuz I wanna kiss you

CALUM:WHAT???

MICHAEL:Just kidding!

CALUM:Oh.

ASHTON:You wanted to kiss Calum??!!

MICHAEL:I was just kidding!

ASHTON:Oh...

ME:YOU WANTED TO KISS CALUM??!!

MICHAEL:I SAID I WAS JUST KIDDING!!!!

( Me, Calum, and Ashton snicker )

MICHAEL:Ha.Ha.Ha. You can laugh all you want, but I'm leaving.

CALUM:WhatEVER!

( Michael scowls and leaves )

ME:But Calum seriously, are you gay?

( Points camera towards Calum's face )

CALUM:Um um um

ASHTON:Come on, don't be shy!

CALUM:I'M NOT SHY!!

ASHTON:Then why do you look frightened?

CALUM:I'M JUST NOT SHY! OK?

ASHTON:Ok ok just tell us if you are gay...

CALUM:I'M NOT GAY! I'M NEVER GONNA KISS MICHAEL!

ME: ( Laughs )

CALUM:Why are you laughing?

ME:I heard you almost said "yes" to Michael.

CALUM:SHUT UP!

ASHTON: ( Laughs ) so you ARE gay

CALUM:I am NOT!

ASHTON:Yes you are

CALUM:No I'm NOT!

ME:Just admit that you're gay Calum. It's alright.

CALUM:It is NOT alright! so SHUT UP!

ME:So you mean that you're actually gay?

CALUM:NO I'M NOT GAY! I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT!!!

ASHTON: ( Laughs more harder )

ME: ( Giggles )

MOM:Boys! where are you?  are you in the bathroom again?!!

( Me and Ashton quickly hide in the shower )

( Mom opens the bathroom door)

MOM:Calum, what are you doing here talking to yourself in different voices?

CALUM:B-b-but Mom! It wasn't me!

MOM:Yes it was! you were alone in here! now go eat your lunch.

CALUM:Fine!

( Mom and Calum both leave the bathroom )

ASHTON:That was close

ME:Yeah