"Little Girl" - lrh

04

I hate when he does this. He acts like nothing ever happens. Then I have to act like nothing ever happens. Then he looks at me with this concerned look as if he feels bad for me for being naive. Yeah, I don't know a lot like my friends and classmates do, but I know enough to get me by in life. I think.

What happened with Calum the other day was the worst I have ever seen Luke. He usually gets mad, but he has never showed it before. Then I had to clean up after his meltdown. He misses Mom so much it's driving him to insanity.

And that stupid Alyssa girl isn't helping either. She keeps texting him, asking to see him, wanting to go see a movie together. He says he's tired of seeing movies and I feel like they aren't actually watching a movie. But that might be me being paranoid.

"I am so sorry," I whispered to Calum. I snuck out the same night after Daddy fell asleep and went back over next door.

"It's fine," he mumbled. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No. He drank, then cried, then went to bed."

"What a pussy."

"Shut up, he misses my mom. And so do I," Calum gave me an apologetic look, then it turned expressionless.

"He is way too attached to you."

"I'm all he has."

"I thought you said he has a girlfriend?"

"She is not his girlfriend."

"Oh, come on, Alice. That girl's car is in the driveway almost all the time," I looked at him, almost like he was stupid.

"No, she's not always there. I haven't even seen her since I met her."

"Alice, sweetie," Calum's voice changed to the one he always uses on me when he thinks I'm being stupid. "you're always with me or at work when she's there."

"No," I shook my head. "No, Luke said he wasn't seeing her anymore."

"He lied."

"No, he can't. He promised."

"But did he really?" I thought back to when I asked him if he was seeing her again. He told me he wasn't. I didn't tell him to promise me. I just assumed it was implied.

"No," I whispered. I felt like crying. I understood Calum was pissed off about how Luke handled the situation, but he could be a little nicer to me. I've seen Daddy with a couple other girls before. He looked a little happier, but the girls never stayed. I usually blamed myself for it, because I'd slip up and call him daddy by accident. That's around the time they disappeared. He'd tell me it wasn't because of me, but I knew it was.

"Yeah," Calum interrupted. "He didn't."

"You don't have to be so mean to me," I murmured.

"Sorry," I couldn't look at him anymore. I kept my eyes on the floor, like I always did when I was upset, and waited for one of us to decide to say something. It was usually him who spoke first when we did this, but that night he remained quiet.

"I need to go back."

"Why? He's just passed out from being wasted."

"He's still my dad."

"No he isn't, Ali!"

"Shut up! You don't know anything!" I almost hit him. I wanted to. I came close to. But I couldn't. He saw my hand raise then his eyes grew. He flinched back.

"God, how many more Hemmings are gonna hit me?!"

"As many as it takes for you to stop being such a dick!" I spat, running to his window and climbing back out. He tried to stop me, tried to coax me into staying, but I was already hurt from everything today I just wanted to lay down. I watched my dad smack my best friend; I watched my dad drink his guts out; I watched my dad sob and call out with helplessness for my dead mom; I watched my dad get dragged through the carpet by my little body; I watched my dad fall asleep from emotional exhaustion; And I watched my best friend flinch back from me when I made a sudden hand movement. I needed to watch the back of my eyelids.