Paralyzer || Barry Allen (The Flash) Fanfiction

Chapter 20: The Face-Off

I was too phased by the meeting I'd just witnessed to even think of telling Iris about everything at the moment. I left the alley in a daze, slowly making my way back to the house while still remaining invisible. My lungs struggled to function each time I thought about how fast approaching this end was, and I would occasionally have to pause to catch my breath before I passed out.

There was nothing more I wanted than to ask for help from someone, but I refused to drag anyone else into this matter. The more people that were involved the likelier it was that they were going to get hurt. It was an ironic thought considering I'd just told Barry off for keeping this whole life a secret from Iris, yet this was so much different. It truly was better that no one knew anything of the planned attack. If there wasn't a single person there to attempt to aide me in this battle, then there wouldn't be any reason for the Shadow and her crew to come after anyone other than myself. And things were better that way.

This was something I had to do alone.

Half an hour later I arrived back at the West household, my heart heavy and my mind still buzzing with countless thoughts. It was going to be difficult to hide a secret that terrified me as much as this did, but I knew it was the way things had to be. Then again, I hadn't always been the best at hiding emotions, and Joe and Barry worked with the police department. It was their job to know when people were hiding something, and they sensed it as soon as I sat down at the table for dinner.

"Are you alright, Haven?" Joe asked after swallowing his mouthful of spaghetti.

Barry wasn't the best cook, but he did have a talent for making the most amazing pasta sauce. Even my muted need for food gave in to the delicious aromas and tastes of the meal. At least I would get to enjoy a good last meal.

I hesitated a moment as I fought back the words I really wanted to say in favor of a lie. "Yeah, I'm just really tired. Long day."

Surprisingly, Joe didn't ask anything further as he simply nodded his head and resumed eating. Barry hardly looked up at me at all during our meal, and my heart twisted with longing for us to just get over our fight earlier that day and makeup. I couldn't stand the thought of dying with this tension still hanging between us. Thankfully, I got my chance after Joe finish his meal and headed out to the store to grab some groceries. I knew it was just an excuse so that Barry and I had a moment alone to speak to one another, but either way I was grateful for his absence.

Neither of us said anything for a minute or two, instead favoring the sound of our utensils clinking against the glass plates as we continued to eat our pasta. Finally, I couldn't stand another second of the silent treatment, so I spoke up.

"I'm sorry, Barry," I began to apologize. The boy's eyes still refused to meet mine, so I hurried on. "I didn't mean the things I said earlier. Well, at least not some of them... I was just so frustrated, and it hurt to hear you say that I didn't care about someone because I didn't know them. I know you were just trying to keep me from telling her..."

There was another lapse of silence before Barry finally glanced up at me, his eyes holding mine. I could see the hesitant curiosity that he was trying to push down, and I knew exactly what he wanted to ask. However, I waited for him to speak up instead of just answering the question for him if it meant that I would get to hear his voice again.

Eventually, he gave in. "So, you told her already?"

Now it was my turn to add to the silence as I figured out how to dig my way out of this one. He knew I'd left the station to head to Iris' work, and I suppose I had been out long enough for it to seem like I'd told her and then answered all the questions she could have possibly had. Yet, that wasn't the case. I hadn't even made it close to her office before I'd been distracted by the meeting in the alley. How was I supposed to explain to Barry what I'd been doing without him finding out about the meeting or the attack or anything that had to do with the Shadow?