Paralyzer || Barry Allen (The Flash) Fanfiction

Chapter 50: Confusion

The following morning I woke with a sense of renewed energy that I hadn't thought was possible. I also hadn't expected my back to be feeling almost entirely back to normal, no sharp or excruciating pain hindering me as I moved about the apartment getting ready for the day.

Today was my first day heading back to work at the CCPD after about a two week leave. I had mixed feelings about returning to the station, most of the more unpleasant emotions stemming from the dread that came with knowing I would run into either Patty or Barry, possibly even both. It almost outweighed the excitement I felt to finally get back in the lab and do what I loved.

On top of going back to the CCPD, I was also stretching my luck as I had promised Cait I would swing by STAR Labs for a couple hours today. There was no doubt in my mind that if, by some miracle, I managed to avoid Barry at the station — which was a highly unlikely occurrence — I would still be forced to face him at STAR Labs.

I let those feeling roll through me as I ate my cereal, almost entirely losing my appetite as I realized just how anxious I really was for the rest of my day. Then, I remembered I was supposed to grab coffee with Kitt before my work today, and I all but sprang up from my seat as I rushed through the rest of my daily routine. Thank goodness for super speed.

That's when I realized this was the first time in days that I had even used my powers. It felt strange, foreign even, after holding off from them for so long. I wondered how much this disuse of my abilities would affect my handle on them.

As I walked into the kitchen, I noted that Caitlin was finally awake as she stood in her pajamas by the stove making some eggs.

"'Morning, Cait!" I called out in a rather singsongy tone as I threw my belongings into my purse.

She whipped around as if surprised by the fact that I was speaking. Then again, wasn't her reaction to be expected? I had been moping about for the past few days now. No doubt this change in mood was a strange sight to take in.

"Good morning," she replied, still slightly shocked. However, a small grin finally found its way onto her features, and her eyes twinkled with what looked like relief. "It's good to see you in a good mood. Anything in particular that has you so happy today?"

I shrugged my shoulders as I slung the strap of the purse across my body. "Nothing much. Just grabbing some coffee with a friend before heading into work. I guess I'm just glad to finally be getting outside and doing something again."

"A friend, huh?" Caitlin noted curiously. I could see the shift in her expression and feel the waves of intrigue rolling off of her, and I already knew what she was going to say before the words left her mouth. "So, is this 'friend' of yours just a friend or...?"

I wanted to give her a look that let her know just how unamused I was by her skepticism of my intentions, but I couldn't. And I wasn't entirely sure why. I knew this was just a friendly meeting. Heck, I'd even told Kitt I wanted nothing more than friendship. So why, then, did I feel like that wasn't the truth?

I blinked hard, dismissing the thoughts from my mind for the time being as I shook my head. "No, he's just a friend. It's Barry who gets over relationships like they didn't mean anything, remember?"
 That last bit fell out without filter, and I scolded myself for complaining again. Just as I'd expected, Caitlin gave me that empathetic look that I had been dreading, and I inwardly groaned.

"I'm fine, Cait," I sighed as I grabbed my coat from the rack. When I saw her unconvinced look, I continued on. "Honestly. I'm getting more used to it every day. We're adults. So, I'm gonna deal with this like an adult should."

As long as he can keep his hormones in check around Patty while I'm in the room, I thought, but I didn't dare to say the words aloud. I didn't want my friend to see just how affected I still was by the breakup.