'Volleyball players, we're in the dance studio' my pe/dance teacher shouts over to us as we change into pe kit. I groan. I don't mind being in there when I'm dancing, but any other lessons and the huge mirror that covers one wall scares me.
'Come on Tori!' Rose says to me, as she drags me out the changing rooms. I sigh, 'we're gonna be late anyway...' She just looks at me, and then runs down the corridor. Now there is no way I am walking in by myself, so I pelt it after her. My brown curls fly out behind me, I didn't have time to tie my hair up. Rose pushes opens the door to the studio and I cringe at the sight of the mirror. I quickly shove my hair into a messy ponytail before sitting down with everyone else. ' Is everyone out the changing rooms Tori?' I think for a second, 'no miss, Summer and Katherine are still getting changed.' She sighs, and starts to take the register. Ugh, as much as I love volleyball, the thought of playing it in the dance studio didn't particularly appeal to me. Its our pe/volleyball assessment today as well. I internally groan.
We get set up in our volleyball positions, I stand so I can't see myself in the mirror. The game starts, and a volleyball goes whizzing past my head, I raise my eyebrows in confusion and walk to the back of the room to pick up the ball. I volley it back over but soon its chucked straight back at me, this time it hits me straight in my face. Just an accident right? Of course they weren't throwing it right at me on purpose, were they? But their laughter tells another story. I try to ignore it, I try to get involved in the game. But their giggles distract me, not to mention the fucking big mirror. Miss goes over to speak to a teacher at the door, just as I fail to catch yet another ball. 'What the fucks wrong with your hands Tori?!' 'Phaa can't you even catch that!' 'Aha its cos her arms are so fat that her hands can't touch.' 'she's just fat all over, aren't you tori!' They scream and shout their harsh words at me, but quiet enough for miss not to hear. I look down at my feet. My fat feet. My eyes glass over, as I try not to cry. I don't try again for the rest of the assessment, I dodge balls thrown at me, and spend most of the lesson collecting the ball from the end of the room. I hear them laughing at my fat, how it rolls over, and jiggles as I run. Miss must either be deaf or just ignoring them. Unless she's not exactly a hippo, she's tiny. Very pretty and very skinny. She probably agrees with them, after all I'm not pretty or skinny like her. The game ends, I can feel bruises appearing on my skin, and tears filling my eyes. We line up at the door, waiting to be given our grades, Rose stands near the front, I stand at the back, trying to avoid everyone. But they still whisper their words to me. Miss raises her eyebrow when she looks at the sheet for my grade. 'I know its bad miss' I sigh, ' it's not that bad, 5C' now I have a shit grade to match the rest of me, all I am is a piece of shit. My eyes threaten to reveal what I'm thinking so I pull my ponytail out and walk away quickly, my body shaking- crying silent tears. 'Tori!' Miss shouts after me, I turn around, 'yes?' 'Are you ok?' I just nod, and turn around just as the real tears start to fall. I get to the changing rooms, and just sit and cry in front of all my friends. Rose hugs me, and tells me it's going to be okay, and to just ignore them all. But I can't. But I also can't sit here and cry forever, I wipe my eyes, and force a smile, 'yeah you're right rose' I change quickly, and then leave the changing rooms 'tori, your lying to us all, you're not going to be fine, you're not going to get over this are you?' Rose says to me as she follows out of the changing rooms, 'I'm going to be fine, honest!' I say as my eyes start to fill up again. 'Stop lying Tori!' She stops and shouts, I continue walking but turn to face her, 'I'm fine! Just please don't get involved!' I turn and continue walking away from her. I ignore her shouting after me, I can't stop crying now, the tears fall down my face uncontrollably, it's getting harder to breath. Rose still shouts my name, 'Tori! Stop!' But I ignore her, 'tori you're not ok,' Rose says when she finally catches up with me, I can't walk anymore, I sink slowly to the floor. Tears pour down my face, I push my hair out of my eyes and look up. I say 'I'm fine' but if she looked close enough, she'll see that my eyes tell another story.
