AN: I'M SO SORRY THAT IVE TAKEN FOREVER TO UPLOAD! i'm not going to bore you with excuses and explanations, all i'm going to do i apologize. it's not fair on you, my readers to wait so long for an uplaod, especially with LOAA is so close to being finished.
if i do say one thing it;s that yes i understand that you guys wanted it to be updated, i have no problem with that, and some of you have been really nice and understandng. However some of you who follow me on tumblr, or even on instagram (i have an ed insta as well but only my tumblr followers know it because it's so personal and has pictures of me, etc) have sent me some really horribly, bitchy comments. And it hurts. I'm going through a lot right now, hell of alot, and to have you guys be horrible hurts me. And i know it's only a small minority of you.
But anyway here's chapter 25, i'll probably upload chapter 26 soon as well. There are many spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes and i will edit it at some point but i just wanted to get this uploaded for you!
oh i just remembered! this chapter is actually based on real life. Everything happened in the last few weeks of term apart from the dance teaceher/best friend plot thats going on.
enjoy :)
I walked out of the dance studio that day, I couldn't handle my perfect secret becoming public, in all honesty I also didn't want to face the fact that maybe I did, maybe I do, have a problem.
As I walked into school the next day I felt eyes staring at me. I felt like everyone knew, i knew I was just paranoid that Abi had told someone but i still avoided people's eyes and rushed to my tutor room.
I walked over to my physics classroom after tutor. Eyes looking at the floor, I shuffled through the corridors. I smiled at the friends I had in the classroom but instead of going over to them to chat, I walked over to my assigned seat and busied myself with getting out my equipment.
Throughout the lesson I tried to focus on the teacher, I tried to take notes, but everything she said just went over my head and I found myself thinking about the event in the dance studio. What did Abi know anyway? Nothing. She knows nothing about me. Nobody knows me. I feel like I don’t even know myself anymore.
Abi’s just jealous of how much you’ve achieved, she wishes she had the self control you have. I bet she doesn’t stop stuffing her fat face, she just wants to be the thinnest but she hasn’t got the control you have Tori. Stay Strong and soon everyone will want to look exactly like you.
I listen to the voice in my head whispering to me, calming me. I smile to myself. When did I last eat? I didn’t eat breakfast this morning but then again who in their right mind would start there day by scoffing a ton of calories? I didn’t eat dinner the night before, I was too distracted with the thoughts of Abi. I beam inside. Proud of the lack of food that has passed my lips. I feel a slight grumble begin in my stomach but I hit my lower stomach to mute the sound.
You’re stomachs not grumbling, it’s applauding.
I run my fingers along my collarbones, thank god the layer of fat that was covering them is vanishing.
You’re not losing weight, you’re getting rid of it, and if you have any intention of finding it again you will become a lazy fatass.
You’d best skip lunch again today to be on the safe side.
I can suddenly feel the weight of my lunch in my school bag. I must dispose of it. I look at my watch and see I only have 10 minutes left of the lesson. Thank God. I’ll bin It before I have to go to dance. I look over at my teacher. She’s pretty and skinny. Bitch. I stare at how her dress hugs her tiny waist. When I’m thin I’ll be able to wear clothes like that. I’ll be able to wear crop tops, because ill finally have a flat stomach. And cute shorts because my legs won’t look like tree trunks. I sigh and spend the rest of lesson daydreaming about all the clothes I’ll be able to wear when I’m thin.
