The first thing I hear when I walk into 5th lesson is my name being called rather loudly, I turn my head to the back row and smile at Rose. As I walk over to her I notice that her smile is bigger than usual, her whole character is brighter and more cheerful. I guess I notice the little things about people. I slide into the seat next to her, I laugh as I notice that she’s bouncing up and down in her chair. “What’s up?” I say to her, she beams a big grin
“It’s my 15th in 3 days and I have finally persuaded my mum to let me have a sleepover party!” she squeals, I laugh
“Oh my gosh! Do you remember the ones we had back when we were 11?!” I say
“yesssss! That’s why I wanted to have one, you know, nostalgia and all that jazz,” she natters on for a bit, and being the dutiful friend I nod and laugh and the correct places but I’m not really taking any of it in. “so can you come?” her voice brings me out of my trance.
“To your sleepover?”
“Yes!”
“eeer, sure I guess?” I say, she beams and continues nattering but all I can thing about is what on earth have I just gotten myself into.
Of course as much as I try to drag out the days before the party, they only pass more quickly and before I know it I’m in my mother’s on the way to Rose’s. I sit in the front seat, my overnight bag stuffed by my feat. I wipe my sweaty hands on my bootleg jeans. I spent too long this morning trying to work out if whether my skinny jeans showed off my fat too much, eventually I decided my legs looked slightly acceptable in my bootlegs. My new Hollister top rubs my neck, I pull at it slightly even though it’s loose on me, even if it is an extra small. I swear the sizes are wrong at the moment. My heart thumbs hard against my chest as we pull up to Rose’s house.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Rose, she’s been an amazing friend to me since we started middle school, she’s always been there for me and she gets me like no one else. But she is also one of those annoying friends that can eat an absolute ton of crap and still remain tiny. Which is why I’m nervous. All the food will be calorie ridden, and full of fat and sugar.
As we draw up outside of her house I grab my overnight bag, I scramble out of the car, trying to act eager. I put on a beaming fake smile and wave goodbye to my mother as I walk to Rose’s front door. I keep my smile on as Rose’s opens the door and I say happy birthday and thrust a present at her. She moves to let me in and I shuffle past her in an awkward fashion. Rose’s house was like my second home during middle school so I know everyone and were everything is, I beam my flashy fake smile at her family members, before we go up to her attic room. I love her room, it’s huge, wooden, but very cosy. On one side of her room she had her bed, closet, dressing table, etc, and on the other side she has 2 huge sofas and a sofa. Coming of her room is a small bathroom which is perfect. Abi is already here, I had no idea she was coming, as well as Jenny and Emily. I keep my smile plastered onto my face even though it’s starting to ache. I chug myself and my bag on the sofa which Abi is on. She smiles at me, they continue their conversation on some celebrity based TV show that I don’t watch, but somehow I start to relax slightly. I get too comfortable, and that’s were problems start.
Of course before long the issue of food pops up, one person asks what we’re going to eat and before I know it Rose is on the phone and ordering a huge order of pizza, garlic bread, and all the other crap you can buy from a pizza place, Emily is pulling out a huge bag of dorritos and some disgusting looking salsa, and Jenny and Abi are searching their bags and pulling out random bags full of popcorn, sweets and other calorie filled rubbish. I watch the whole event from my position on the sofa, pretending to be absorbed in the music videos someone flicked onto the TV a while ago. The thought of any of that food going into my body disgusts me. Abi eventually sits down next to me munching on a bag of toffee popcorn, she holds it out to me. I shake my head in disgust, she raises an eyebrow but turns away still. Just one handful of her disgusting popcorn contains 105 calories, why would I sabotage all my hard work? I look around at the others, Jenny’s eating her own body weight in gummy bears, Emily is eating dorritos like she hasn’t seen food in days and Rose is still on the phone. I smile a small smile to myself. Sure, I may not be the smallest of all these girls, in fact I’m sure they are all much smaller than me, apart from Jenny, she’s sweet but definitely around 20lbs overweight.
Rose puts down the phone and grabs a handful of toffee popcorn from Abi, “don’t you want anything Tori?” she says as she notices that everyone apart from me is scoffing their faces.
“not at the moment, I had a huge lunch out with my mum and her fiancé so I’m still pretty stuffed to be honest.” I lie through my teeth but she looks like she believes me, Abi gives me a sideways glance but I pretend not to notice. In truth I actually haven’t eaten all day, in fact I can’t remember when I last ate. I usually eat with my family every evening, even if I do eat only enough of my dinner not to raise any questions, but this week my brother has had football training every evening so I’ve been home alone after school until they get in. therefore I can just lie and I say I ate, and with a few strategically placed plates covered in crumbs and deliberate food smears I can get away with it.
I bring my knees up to my chest to try and muffle the sound of my stomach. I start to fiddle with my sleeves and feel self-conscious as I can feel Abi watching me. Eventually I get sick of it.
“hey Emily, can I have some of the dorrittos?” I smile sweetly. She holds out the packet and I take 6. 75 calories. I nibble them slowly, and by the time I’ve crunched threw 3 of them Rose’s mum Is standing at the door holding boxes of steaming hot pizza and paper plates. As she hands her daughter the boxes she says she paid for it for Rose, Rose smiles in relief. I don’t think she intentended on paying anyway, she knows her parents are generous enough to pay for it. Her mother leaves and I sigh as I stare at the boxes of fat disguised as food. All the others are pilling there plates up high, I take 2 slices of hawaiian pizza, I would take plain cheese but I know that Rose ordered it with extra cheese and stuffed crust which only piles up the calories. My slices are 175 calories each. I sit and slowly pick off the ham and pineapples. By this point Jenny is going back for seconds, I can barely hide the look of disgust from my face. I look at the TV screen, still no food has passed my lips, Rose seems to have put some rom-com film on, it’s cheesier than the pizza. I look around the room and notice both Abi and Rose now looking at me weirdly so I pick up a slice of pizza, pretend I didn’t notice them and force myself to take a huge bite. I almost gag from the taste of fat, oil and processed crap. I chew slowly, the disgusting taste not wanting to be swallowed, I force it down. I grimace as I feel the calories sliding down into my no longer empty stomach, I cringe. They both seem to have gone back to watching the film so I slowly nibble the rest of my slice. It takes me a while but I eventually finish it. I look at the other slice. My heart sinks, but I force myself to slowly nibble, I can’t let any of them realise what’s going on.
