SMOKE (The Aurum Trilogy Book 2)

Chapter 41

Chapter 41

Jonathan

She hasn't been awake for three days now, and all I could do is stop myself from worrying about her.

She doesn't move. Her breathing is more even than when I first brought her here, but her eyes remain closed and her mouth, shut.

I pace back and forth, rubbing the back of my neck and running my fingers through my hair. I have never left her room ever since she got here, ever since we administered a top secret antidote we harvested from Argentum. I've been watching her, waiting for the moment when she would start moving. My people already knows she's here and that she's alive. Their trust in me has wavered, and I could tell that they think my choice to keep her alive was wrong.

"What were you thinking?" I yelled at her for the umpteenth time. "Walking into Fiouris and drinking that... That... That wine..." I knew I wasn't making sense, but my stomach is filled with worry and dread. I can't stand seeing her like this. "Lauren, how many times do I have to remind you that Fiouris cannot be trusted? That Fiouris wants you dead because you know too much? That... That..." I stopped, searching for more words to hurl at her sleeping figure. "That you got me so worried I thought you were going to die." My voice faded into a whisper, and I tugged at my hair once more.

"God, Lauren," I exclaimed, my voice shaking. "I was so worried..." I don't know if I lack sleep or my eyes are close to tears, but I feel so desperate.

I want her to wake up.

I want her to live.

"You don't have to be worried." A voice pops out from behind me. "I didn't tell you to."

I slowly slid my hands down my face, and looked at her. She was trying to sit up, propping her elbows against the bed, and I immediately rushed to her side to help her up.

"You were out for three days. I thought you'd never wake up."

"Psh." She laughed. "I've been through worse."

"You could've died."

"I know." She said, her voice ever so casual.

"And you don't care?" I looked at her with an incredulous expression on my face. "You don't care that I got so-"

"Worried about me?" She finished, giving out a weak smile. "You don't have to tell me or shout at me over and over again."

"But I was worried." I told her. I stopped myself from holding her hand or caressing her cheek and became content with gazing at her and watching her movements.

She was so fragile and beautiful.

"You were right, Jonathan." She slowly said, looking up at me. When her eyes met mine, I felt a familiar jolt of electricity. Her eyes held me, and I let myself become captive to them. "He wants to kill me."

"And I won't let him." I told her. "I won't let him kill you."

She laughed, a melodious song ringing across the room. Her eyes turned into tiny crinkles and her perfect set of teeth emerged from her lusciously red lips.

"What... What is it?" I stuttered, unable to form a better query to explain her burst in emotion.

She winced before answering my question. "I'm not used to somebody telling me they'll protect me."

"Well, you have to get used to it." I told her. "You have to get used to me."

"I will never get used to you." She said, shaking her head so that the waves of her hair tumbled down her shoulders. Her hand went so fast that I barely realized her thumb brushing against my cheek and her fingers tickling the slight curls of my hair. "You're unpredictable, Jonathan. You want to kill me and now you save me. You want to destroy me and now you want me to remain right where you are." She let her hand slip back to her side, and looked right at me with her fierce eyes. "Who are you, Jonathan Kress?"

"I... I..." My brain is groping for words, looking for letters to cling on as it starts rolling down to a cliff. I'm looking for answers but they're not good enough. I'm looking for something to say to her, but I'm tongue-tied. My heart has produced invisible bonds tugging my mind and my mouth. I can't tell her who I am. "I don't know myself anymore."

She pulled the blanket closer to her, and curled her knees next to her chest. She started rocking back and forth, staring at me as if waiting for a better answer. All I could do was stare back and fight the feelings brewing in my chest.

"There was a fire in my house." She began, closing her eyes. I could tell she was imagining the scene before her, replaying the exact moment over again. "And I had to save my mother. We had just escaped from The Hawk, the agency I used to work for back in the simulation." She paused as if to gather more courage to tell the rest of her story.

"They went after her. I went into the house and tried to save her. But I failed. It was too late. I couldn't find her and I saw her necklace accompanied by strands of her hair. Her burning body was gone."

"But she turned out to be alive later on." She took a deep breath, opening her eyes. "Knoxx killed her. They killed her because of me."

"So I went back. I made my way to Coeline's, injured and weaker than ever before. Grief mingled with pain, and I hoped and prayed that it was only just a dream, that my Mom would be safe."

I didn't know why she was telling me this. I didn't know why she was narrating one of her many memories when she had already refused to help me.

"Then, I saw you." My gaze met hers, and the scene flashed in the back of my mind. I could see Lauren's limp and wounded figure struggling to walk toward Coeline's house, the pale, silver moon looming above us like an igniting beacon of salvation. I could see her broken, bloodied and bruised, and I almost felt my feet rush to her and pick her up.

"I saw you and you ran to me. You put your arms around me and hoisted me up. I have never felt happier my whole life." I could see her eyes welling with tears, and her fingers clutching the blanket tighter, her knuckles turning white and the fabric producing more and more creases.

She was helping me remember.

"Then I made you tell me-"

"That everything was going to be okay." I finished. "And I told you that. And I kissed you. I kissed you and brought you back home. In my arms. Like when we were in the forest."

She smiled, her cheeks tearstained and her chest heaving. "And that's when I realized," She looked away uneasily as if avoiding the next part of the story. Her eyes could never settle in one place, and her fingers kept fidgeting with the blanket. "That I fell in love with you."

Her words hit me with surprise, and I sat there, frozen. So she fell in love with me. She fell in love with me back in the simulation. It was all true.

She wiped the tears with the back of her hand and laid back down to bed. The pillow, together with her thick, dark locks, provided a nest for her meddling, restless thoughts. She was slightly shaking, and I took her hand, my cheeks feeling a sudden warmth.

"You didn't have to tell me now." I told her.

"And you didn't have to save me." She snapped. "Jonathan, we do the stupidest things we aren't supposed to do for the people we choose to care about."

I let go of her hand.

Do I really care about her to be so stupid enough to risk my life just to save her?

Maybe I do.

"Get some rest." I uttered. "I'll have the medical staff watch over you when I'm gone."

She nodded, and I stood up and made my way to the door. "Sleep well." I told her, stopping as I swiped my card on the access panel. "I'll see you in the morning."

The door slid open, but before I could step out of the room, I heard Lauren call out my name.

"Thank you." She uttered. "And I do hope you give me another chance to tell you who you are."