SMOKE (The Aurum Trilogy Book 2)

Chapter 44

Chapter 44

Lauren

I came running out the door without looking back. My footsteps echoed in the deserted halls, and all I could think of was the price I have to pay in order to be human. 

I need to kill Fiouris. I need to kill him and stop his plans. I want to. But could I forget him? Could I forget the single soul that has always made me human even when I've never met hope before? Could I make that sacrifice? 

I stand outside his door, afraid to knock. My whole body feels frozen, and my hands are shaking. I need to see him. I need to talk to him. 

My cold fingers rap on his glass door, and it opens almost immediately. He comes out, his hair tousled with only his trousers on. I flushed at the sight of him. I backed away, avoiding his eyes. I have to avoid his eyes. I have to avoid him. 

"Lauren, it's—"

I give him no chance to speak. I fold myself against his chest like words being pressed onto the blank pages of a book. I could feel his heart beating against my cheek, struggling to break free from its cage, looking for a way to fly. He wraps his arms around me, and holds me tight. I don't know where my tears are coming from, but I shed them. I shed them, and invisible hands grasp my throat and choke me. I leave no gap between us and allow my world to stop spinning to be frozen in this moment forever. 

"I don't understand..." I said, my voice turning into strangled sobs dashed with a flame of anger. "I don't understand..." 

He doesn't break off. He just holds me as if I might shatter when he lets go. His breath is on my neck, and his slight curls tickle the skin on my face. He leans forward, his forehead touching mine, and I don't know how close we could be. I don't remember how to breathe. 

"He says there's a cure, a cure for all this... This madness." 

"What cure?" Jonathan asks, his eyes wide.

"I could be human, Jonathan." I told him, breathing heavily now that I've remembered to.  "I could be human and we could..." I stopped, my voice trailing off. 

He smiled and cupped my cheek with his hand. I closed my eyes, and felt his lips brush against mine. They slowly part and indulge in this forbidden moment, and I feel weak in the knees. I stumbled back against the wall, and slipped my hand on his nape to steady my footing. His hand moves from my waist to the back of my leg as he presses me against the wall more firmly. I kiss him harder, desperately clinging on to the moment that was gone, to the moment that has returned. He pulls me up so that my legs are wrapped around his waist and my arms are tangled on his shoulders all the way to his nape. His body is hot against mine, and my hands can't resist the temptation of tracing its contours and memorizing its lines. He starts kissing my neck, grazing his lips against the exposed area of my collarbone. His fingers skim the light fabric separating my skin and his and brings his lips back to mine. I drown in him, and I feel myself slowly break. He holds me gently, like fragile glass yet knows how strong I can surely be. I tremble at his touch, and once more, I forget how to breathe. My lungs gasp and scream for oxygen, but I ignore them. I ignore their futile plights because I don't want to breathe. I don't want to live and just lose him. All I want is to never let go of him and never ruin this moment. My  lips feel like they're on fire, and I do not want to extinguish it. I do not want it to stop burning. 

He breaks off, smiling. His cheeks are flushed, and his eyes scan mine. I smile back, unable to believe at how in this moment, even though without a cure, I've never felt more human. 

He sets me back down on the ground. "Yes, we could." He says. "We will." 

"But you don't understand..." I protested. "The cure. It has a price. It has a price, and I don't want to pay it." I balled my hands into fists. "I could forget you. I can't forget you." 

He rests his palms on both my cheeks, and I see tears in his eyes. "You won't." 

"Carter says I could take it any time. He says I might need it. He says that if I don't, I'll die. I only have a few more months left." I explained. "When I take it, I may never feel this way again." I told him. "Jonathan, I don't want to lose you again. I don't want to forget you." 

"I..." He bites his lip, and his eyes crinkle at a loss for words. "I never thought you'd say that." He pulls me closer and kisses my forehead. "I love you." He murmurs against the top of my hair. I rest my head on his chest, glad to be where I am now. Glad to be in his arms. Glad to be near to him. I close my eyes and hear the thumping of his heart like a bird's wings flapping in the air, flying into freedom.