Wanted Is Love [BoyxBoy]

Chapter 42

You ever feel like sometimes dying is the best thing you could do? You could just let go of everything and everyone that you once held dear to you, just because you can’t take the pain. Like it feels like those special people in your life had finally turned their back on you? Feeling alone, misunderstood. There is only one way to get away from it all. Or at least that’s what you think.

Has your boyfriend ever gone missing for weeks, with no trace at all? No words .No goodbye. No nothing. Didn’t think so. At first you didn’t think about those things. At first you thought that some evil bitch that has some century long grudge against you did something to him. All of the clues are there and she even admitted to hurting you. You realize though, that it wasn’t in the way you thought. Then you realize that you should be angry at him. He left you. On purpose. He hurt you. He didn’t though. He could be hurt as well. You just don’t know who did what or what to believe.

Today. Today is the day. What day, you ask? The day that it all becomes clear. The day where the questions that seem to never get an answer, finally do. The day where you figure out the truth. Where you see that you had it all wrong. If there was ever a time where I felt most like dying, this was the time.

The day started off like any other. The usual bright light woke me up by blinding me. It still surprised me that the sun worked so efficiently during this time of year. I mean, it was still freezing cold outside being December and all. I quickly covered the bright light. I went back to my bed and sat down. My gaze was fixed on the wall in front of me. I stared at it for as long as I could. It was all I could do. Nothing. It was all I wanted to do. It was the easiest thing to do.

For some reason though, today seemed different. I shielded my eyes from the sun differently. The sun wasn't as bright as it was yesterday. I stared at the wall for less time than I did any other day. Or maybe I was just making up the differences. I shook the thought out of my head and had to get ready for school. It was still a weekday after all. I still had my twelve year long commitment to the public system. The week was nearing its end though, so it would soon be winter break. Like I care. It will just be more of me doing nothing. I reluctantly put my clothes on and waited for Amy outside. I had skillfully avoided my mother while exiting the house. Same as last night. After we had our little talk, I had pretended to be asleep whenever she would come into my room wanting to talk. It wasn’t that hard either. I was already in my bed sulking.

 

SOMEONE IS NOT TRUSTWORTHY.

Every time I shut my eyes, that message would appear. It was unavoidable. That sentence would rule my life for who knows how long. Just a few moments before that, I had found out something very distressing about my father. It would make sense that this message was about him. The only disagreement was that I never really trusted him in the first place. I mean, he was my father. He was an asshole. A liar. A control freak. An alcoholic. And now a criminal.

All signs pointed to my father. There was no other way around it. My mother told me what my father did. Well, she didn’t exactly. I just knew, and then the letter immediately following it. There was no way around it. Unless, the sender of the letter wanted me to read the letter first. Wait, how would that make anything different? I don’t even know what I am saying anymore.

Amy finally emerged from her house. I threw my stuff into the back. As did she. It seemed as though Amy was finally getting the hints. I wasn’t greeted with a hug today. Today was starting off very different. I entered the vehicle. Amy turned the radio on and went to one our usual obscure rock stations. Well, our old usual since we stopped listening to radio because of all of those accidents we almost go into. Now it kind of seemed weird that we extremely indie people liked the radio so much that we almost crashed even though there aren’t very many stations for us. This brought up another huge question. Why the hell was the radio on?