Changes (Book 3)

Chapter 25

---Alyssa

At the visitation, Matt was talking to my dad and brothers in the lobby of the funeral home.  Matt Jr. was walking around them under his dad's supervision.  I was still outside.  Lena and Eliza were trying to talk me into going inside.  My mom came outside.  "She'll go when she's ready.  It's the second funeral in 2 years.  She needs time.  A mother isn't supposed to have to bury her children."  my mom said.

I opened the door about 20 minutes later, Matt looked up from where he was sitting on the couch with Matt Jr.  "Hey baby."  I didn't say anything just gave a slight smile.  "If it helps, I haven't went in there either."

Visitation was almost over and Matt made it down to Layla's casket.  Liam and Nathan Jr. picked me up and practically carried me into the other room.  "LET GO!"  Matt's head snapped up.  "Let go!"

"LIAM!"  my dad snapped.  They set me down and I tried to get by them.  Liam forced me by Layla's casket.  I fell on m butt.

"Leave her alone!"  I curled into a ball and started sobbing all over again.  I laid my head on the carpeted floor and felt Matt's touch as he got to my side.  "Neither one of you have had to go through what she has and if you had to would you be willing to see your child in the casket?  Huh?!?  We've had to bury 2 children in 2 years.  It is one of the worst feelings in the entire world.  You are lucky we are in a church because I would literally hurt both of you for forcing her in here."

"I'd let him."  my dad said.

"Matty, I need fresh air."  I said between sobs.  He slid his arms around me helping me up.  He walked with me outside.  I sat on the ground leaning my head against the wall.  Matt was sitting beside me.

"You've been stronger than me the whole time.  There's nothing wrong with letting it all go."  Matt said.

"What if Matty gets sick too?"

"He won't baby.  Just like if we decide on having another baby, that doesn't mean he or she will either.  Shit happens and it sucks.  I'm so very sorry that I wasn't home with you when you received the news.  I'm sorry for a lot of things."  he said.

During the funeral service, Matt was holding me against his side.  The paul-bearers stood up and took their places around the casket.  Matt went to stand to filling the last spot.  My dad touched his shoulder and went to do in.  "You need to be with Aly."  he said.

Matt Jr. was being carried by my mom.  Matt was helping me out to the family car.  I sat on the passenger side backseat by the door.  Matt sat beside me and took Matty from my mom.  "Mom, you can sit in here too there's plenty of room.  A few of Matt's friends from the fire department showed up and one took the spot on the casket that my father filled.  He sat beside my mom.

At the grave site, Matt was holding me close for support.  Mackenzie's grave was right beside Layla's.  "Matt, will you grab me a few flowers?"  he nodded and stepped up.

At home, everyone brought food and drinks.  Matt hugged his friends from the fire department thanking them for coming.  My hand in his.  "Mama."  Matt Jr. said walking in.  I let go of Matt's hand and picked up Jr.

"Jeff, Kev, Pat, this is Alyssa and Matt Jr."

"Nice to meet you.  Hey, man he looks more like his mother.  At least he's cute."  I laughed.