The Possessive Defender || Paddy McNair

Chapter twenty

"Hey," she spoke softly.
"Hey," I greeted.
She walked further but stopped in the middle of my room.
"Carmela, there's no tension between us so please don't create it."
"I'm sorry," she said. "I just thought you were angry."
"I'm not angry Carm-" I gestured for her to get into bed with me. "- I'm shocked more than anything because only last night you were confessing that your feelings for him came back and then I find you in bed with him... It all just happened so fast but I'm not angry I promise," I hugged her.
She squeezed me tightly. "Thank you."
"So uh... How did that even happen?" I questioned not wanting to know all the details if you know what I mean.
"Well we were both kind of drunk last night, well I was kind of drunk but he was fully drunk and we came back here. I sobered him up before he went to bed and once he was upstairs I sobered myself up. I came into your room and changed but then he came in here and said he couldn't sleep so we decided to watch a movie. That just lead to us kissing and then we ended in bed together," she explained.
"Did you guys have sex?" I asked her.
"No! We just slept together."
"Hey, if you like my brother and he likes you back I'm all for it," I said and she hugged me again.

"But I'm a bit shaken, he's not been like this for ages Emma- and I was speaking to James... He threw his iPad against the wall. These aren't our boys Emma," she spoke worriedly.
"Omg," I shook my head. "I know, we have to look after them otherwise who knows how this could end up."
The nerves inside of me were boiling at the memories of how they were before and how long it took for them to get back to normal, if anything.
"I have to look after all of you," she emphasised the 'You' as she was directing it to me.
"Why me?" I asked a bit taken a back.
She stared at me like I was stupid. "You're anger is rising again and early on was just the start."
"Oh," I whispered as my head sunk into my pillow.
She rubbed my shoulder. "Hey, Em, it's going to be okay," she soothed. "we're all going to stick together! And you have Paddy now as well," she smiled.
"Yeah but I'm afraid I'm going to scare him away," I could feel the tears in my eyes.
"Aww Em, don't say that babe! He loves you and if he ends up leaving because you're going through a rough time then he was never really worth it.... I think you should tell him," she spoke.
"What? No way. I can't," I panicked.
"Emma it's the best thing to do."
I sighed knowing that she was right. "But how do I tell him?"
"Just sit him down, start conversation and it'll just flow out of your mouth. Then you'll know whether he's serious about you or not," I swear this girl is the best at giving advice.

"Yeah Em-" Dean's voice cut in as he and James walked through my bedroom door.
"Eavesdrop much?" Carmela asked sarcastically.
Dean just glared at her and James gave her an eye roll. The current situation made me giggle.
The bed dipped on my left side as Dean got in next to me and James spread himself out at the end of my bed.
"Carmela's right," Dean spoke as he put an arm around me. "I think you should tell Paddy because you're happy with him and I don't want that to be broken somewhere down the line. If he doesn't hear you out then I'd rather it be now than later because now you won't be so deep into things," he spoke.
"I don't know if I can-"
"Emma, you can do it. If you love him you can do it, I agree with these two," James spoke.
I took a deep breath before speaking. "Okay."
"How are you guys feeling?" Carmela asked the two boys.
"Well my anger has officially fallen, it's so hard trying to contain your anger," James answered and I agreed. It's difficult.
Dean was next to respond. "I feel slightly better but I can just picture everything again without even having to close my eyes," he sighed and shook his head slightly as if to get rid of the visual memory.
"I had that this morning, it wouldn't go away, I thought I was going crazy!" James spoke, the anger within him slowly rising again.
"I say we have a movie night tonight? What do you all think?" Carmela suggested.
We all agreed but I didn't agree on the movie, they wanted to watch some horror movie... Now don't get me wrong, I can watch horror movies but some absolutely scare the living shit out of me.
It was three against one so I really had no say in the matter.

We spent the day in my room just being our goofy selves.

It got about 7pm before we were called down to dinner.
My mum, James mum and Carmela's mum, who had now appeared, we're all in the kitchen. One was making Italian Pasta, one was making the main starters which consisted of roasted sweetcorn, hummus and onion bhajis and the other one was making dessert; a homemade chocolate cake, which we all love, with ice cream and custard.

"Guys," James' dad started. "We just wanted to say that we're proud of you all for how far you've come and we're on your side throughout it all, it isn't easy and we will try our hardest to do our best for you."

That was so heartwarming. The fact that our parents feel like they have to reinforce their support for us is adorable because we already know that they'd support us no matter what but them telling us just gives me more hope.

"Agreed," the rest of the parents spoke.
"Thank you," Dean, James, Carmela and I responded in unison.
"It means a lot to know that you're always behind us," James spoke and I could tell he found it heartwarming too.