The Possessive Defender || Paddy McNair

Chapter twenty-nine

Back to Emma's POV

It's new years eve!

We're all going to the winter wonderland tonight for the countdown. That also includes my parents, Paddy's parents, Carmela's parents and James' parents.
It's also the first time that my parents will be meeting Paddy's parents.

"Dean?" I ask as I wait for the bathroom.
"Yeah?"
"are you having a shit?" he's been in there for an hour now.
"Yeah I am," he answers shamelessly. "But I won't be long, I'm done now."

That's how close Dean and I are, I mentally laugh to myself.

"Emma, are you having a shit?" Paddy asks as he makes his way to me. His wet hair is still slightly dripping.
"I wouldn't be having a shit out here now would I Paddy," I laugh.
"you can use your bathroom now I'm done," he laughs.
"thanks. Never mind D," I call to Dean.
"okay," he laughs from behind the door.

I run into my bathroom and have a shower after brushing my teeth. The max I take in the shower is 20 Minutes. Once I'm done, I wrap a towel around my body and enter my room to find it vacant.
I walk over to my wardrobe and pull out a pair of grey jeans, a white and black striped top and a new pair of white trainers that I bought in the boxing day sales from Adidas.
I decide to let my hair dry naturally so I use the towel to try and dry it and then gently pull my brush through it before parting it into half from the back and laying it on either shoulder.

"morning honey," my mum and dad greet at the same time.
"morning," I smile and go to kiss my dad on the cheek and then my mum.
I'm then greeted by Paddy and Dean who are sat on the other side of my dad.

"I see you made it out," I joke to Dean.
"Yeah man," he laughs.
"it's funny because I thought it was Emma in the bathroom," Paddy laughed.
"Emma takes forever in the shower," Dean rolled his eyes.
"hey! I took fifteen minutes today!" I argue.
"she gets that from her mother," dad added in.
"dad," I laugh as I playfully slap him.
"hey! I'll have you know that long hair takes a while to wash," she argues.
"well I know where you get your feistiness from," he laughs.
"That's a good thing," I laugh as I high five my mum.
"okay guys, we're leaving at 10 so make sure you're all ready," mum warns.
"son, are you alright?" my dad asks as he looks at Paddy.
He's slightly pale and looks lost in his thoughts.
"me?" he asks and dad nods. "oh yeah I'm fine, thanks," he forces a smile.

I notice that something is wrong.
"come on let's go up," I tell him as I hold my hand out for him.
"Emma I'm-"
I interrupt him. "-we'll be down in ten," I inform my mum whose making breakfast.

Once we get inside my room, I sit him on my bed and sit in his lap; my legs either side of him.

"What's wrong honey?" I ask softly as I cup his cheeks.
He takes a deep breath before speaking. "today's the day," he breathes out.
"What day?"
He squeezes his arms around my waist. "the day of Ivan's death. It's eight years today," my heart aches for him.
I stay quiet and hug him tightly.
He continues, "its my fault. If I never suggested going out to that restaurant then he would still be here," he sniffled.
I caught on to what he was speaking about. "Oh Paddy," I move out of the hug to face him and see that his eyes are watery and his cheeks are wet. "Paddy, it's not your fault-"
He interrupts, "-but it is! If I had never suggested it. He said he didn't want to go out because he had a headache and the noises and lights were bothering him. In the end he came with us because he wanted to make me happy. I feel disgusting for even having fun."
My heart breaks at the sight of him. "Paddy you couldn't have known, no one could have known. It's not your fault, you need to stop blaming yourself. Paddy, listen to me, Ivan would still want you to be happy. He's always going to be here with you and he's always going to be in there," I point to his heart.
"I know, but I just can't stop feeling like shit especially around this time of the year," he sniffles.
I use both of my thumbs to wipe under his eyes.
"Paddy, you're never truly going to forget about it, you were there when it happened, you witnessed it at such a young age and I don't blame you for the way you feel but you should never blame yourself, ever," I comfort him.
He looks up at me and gives me a real smile, it's an upset smile but it's still a smile and that's what I want to see.
"You're allowed to have fun Paddy, Ivan wouldn't want you sulking over something you had no control over," I add and rub the back of his neck.
"I love you so so so much, you know that right?" he leaves no space between us.
I nod with a smile. "I know and I love you very very much, you know that right?"
"I do," he smiles and moves an inch forward on our lips could touch.
When we pull away, I cant help but blush so I bite my lip and quickly lower my head into his chest.
"Thank you," he smiles and places a kiss on my forehead.
"anytime for you honey," I smile. "You're going to be just fine Paddy, we're going to get through this together," I kiss him again.
"I'm glad I have you by my side, I wouldn't want anybody else," he smiles and lifts my hand up to kiss it.