Immortally Mine (Larry)

Chapter Fifty

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The day that we got to go home was the day I looked forwards to for months upon months.

It was early November, our home was buried in the different colored fall leaves and small piles of snow here and there across the pavement.

The trees were bare and my heart still numb. The tour had been the best experiences of the entire life, it was day after day that I was able to express myself freely and happily do what I live for and feel okay about it. I had millions of supporters along with me, screaming my name and loving every piece of me effortlessly.

I missed it, I constantly looked back, but I couldn't have been happier to be back in my home with my boys, and Oops was happy to be back in the house and by our sides once again.

As for my mother and sister, they still were upset with me. I called them up as soon as I could the day after they found out who I really was, and I let my heart out on the both of them but it wasn't enough to earn their complete trust back. Gemma is almost terrified of me, as if I would hurt her. I'm just glad that my mum understands that I'm still her little boy, not even the deepest bite could turn my soul.

The first thing we did after unpacking when getting back home was go to Dylan. All four and of us and Oops walked across the street to his little house, looking more lonely than it used to.

Lou knocked on the door and waited for an answer. We heard the lock unlock, and then with the first peek of his eye throw a small crack in the door, he jumped with excitement and flung it open, jumping into Louis' arms and was soon surrounded by all of us in a group hug.

"I'm so happy- You're back and I- I'm just so-" Dylan tried speaking but was so rushed that it was hard to understand exactly what he was saying through the excitement.

He hugged each one of us, then welcomed us inside. He brought us to the living room and we sat down, and just had a nice long talk between the five of us.

It felt good knowing Dylan was happy, though part of this was a show and we all knew he was still healing inside, but he was trying his hardest to keep positive vibes.

After a while, his expression dropped and all was silent. Dylan looked up from the ground and said, "I need to show you guys something,"

We got up off the sofa, and followed him up the stairs and through the hall, past a few doors until we were too the last door.

Dylan opened the door, the chilling breeze trapped inside was let loose as we walked inside.

This was Logan's room, and not a thing had been touched since he left. His bed sheets were a mess and the laundry basket full, his walls were a pale blue with holes punched in from the nights which the full moon struck him.

The room gave off a depressing feeling, it was dark and musky and sad. His bed was pushed up against the far wall, next to a dusty side table with scratch marks carved into the wood.

He had a desk, a small mahogany one that was quite organized and sat before a black swivel chair that dented the carpet.

On the top of the desk, a single sheet lay with a pen beside. Dylan picked up the paper and handed it to me.

"I found this here the day I came back. It's dated the day you all left."

With Liam, Louis, and Niall peeking over my shoulders, we all read the paper silently.

To Dylan, to Harry, and to whom else it may concern,

I am unhappy with myself. For the past couple months I have felt a certain sort of way, a kind that doesn't allow me to get out of bed in the morning, the kind of feeling where all is dreadful and my head is foggy.

I know I am dying. I want to die. I didn't mean it in the first place, when I was first sick, but after days I realized that I must go. Without control, my life is without order, without value. I have no control, and living with myself constantly in fear of causing my own brother and friends pain has been enough. Whomever is reading, know my death is for the best.

Harry, Louis, Liam, and Niall, who have been more kind to me than I could've asked for, thank you. Thank you for keeping me safe, trying to keep me sane. Thank you for saving me since the beginning, thank you for rescuing Dylan from the car incident and from the hunters and keeping us a secret in your pack and close to your heart.

For Dylan, thank you for staying. Thank you for laying in my room with me at midnight to tell me stories and keep me distracted from the ugly world. Thank you for your protection, and for all your love. I love you.

I know that when you come home and find my letter, I'll be up with Mum and Dad, crying as I watch you read on. I couldn't be more happy that you made it home.

If you're ever in need of help, go to Harry. Trust me, he knows what he's doing.

With all the love,
Logan.

I folded the paper and closed my eyes, keeping tears in. Dylan was crying, biting his thumb as he stood back against the wall. The rest of the boys had their hands over their mouths, astonished at what they've just read.

There wasn't anything I could say, the only thing on my mind was anger and disagreement of Logan's choices. It want made clear in my mind how such a sweet and innocent boy could write such an elegant letter of goodbye with the message that he deserved to die.

Logan didn't deserve to die, no matter what he thought. Logan deserved the world, such an open mind, a beautiful way of thought and determination, and the fact that he couldn't control himself after years made me choke.

I set the paper back down on the desk. Dylan was looking straight at me, eyes red of tears and pure agony.

"I'm so, so sorry." Was all I could think to say at this point.

Dylan wiped his face. "Logan was a very smart boy. And who knows, maybe it was for the best, just as he said. His life could've just gotten more miserable from here, it's better him gone rather than wishing he was."