certain things

14.

"Alright, spin."

Emily turned her finger making me sigh and spin around on the podium. The purple dress moved around me and Emily cocked her head to the side. I slouched my shoulders, tired of trying on so many dresses, and Emily finally smiled.

"Do you like it?" She asked and I nodded, turning around to look in the full length mirror.

"It's not my wedding." I laughed a little and Emily rolled her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Let's get it." She decided and I smiled, going back to the dressing room.

I unzipped the dress and hung it back on the hanger, taking a look at myself in the mirror. I frowned, noticing that my hip bones were poking out more than they usually do. I looked away and started putting my clothes back on, my sweater loosely hanging off my body. I stepped into my boots and left the dressing room, taking the dress with me. Emily was at the checkout, giving the woman all the other bridesmaids sizes.

"Alright, let's get you measured." The older woman smiled and I nodded, following her to the podium. She took the measurements of my waist, hips, bust, and bum while Emily made faces at me.

"Ahh, I'm so excited." Emily clapped her hands together and I smiled at her happiness.

"You so skinny!" The woman exclaimed. "How much you weigh?" She wondered, leading me to the counter.

"Oh, um, I'm not sure." I stuttered and Emily eyed me warily.

We payed for the dresses and walked out to the car, me climbing to the drivers side. I began driving to the mall and Emily kept looking over at me. I knew what she was thinking. I sighed to myself and chewed my thumbnail, really not wanting to have this conversation. We pulled into the mall parking lot and before I could get out, Emily locked all the doors.

"If I ask you something, will you be completely honest?" She asked, turning to face me and I nodded. "Are you eating?"

"Yeah." I lied and Emily gave me a pointed look. "Em, I'm fine."

"If it got bad again, you would tell me, right?" She got quieter and I nodded.

"You'd be the first to know." I reassured and Emily smiled a little, unlocking the door.

We walked into the mall, Emily hooking her arm with mine, and I sighed. I hate lying to everyone. I know that I'm not okay. I just won't admit it to anyone else. We walked into the small wedding dress boutique and I stood back, watching Emily look through the racks.

"Have you told Liam about New York yet?" Emily asked when I walked up next to her.

"He's already stressed enough with his dad and everything. I don't want to add to it." I sighed, running my fingers over a lace dress.

"He'll understand, Sam. He loves you too much to be mad." Emily reassured and I nodded, pointing to the lace dress. "Ooh! I love that one."

Emily walked to the dressing room with dresses in her hands. I sat down on the small couch and pulled my phone out. I smiled, reading a text from Liam. He asked me to call him and I did, hearing it ring a couple times. He answered and I could tell he was smiling.

"Hey, babe." Liam said and I smiled a little, toying with a loose strand of fabric on my sweater.

"What's up?" I asked, crossing one leg over the other.

"Writing an essay for music theory. How's dress shopping?" I heard typing in the background and I could just imagine him sitting at his desk.

"Good." I hesitated and then sighed. "Li, there's something I have to tell you later." It's now or never.

"Is everything okay?" He voiced concern, making me smile a little.

"Yeah, I just, I'll just talk to you later, okay?" I decided and Liam sighed, obviously confused by how vague I was being. "I love you."

"Love you too." Liam hung up just as Emily walked put of the dressing room.

She stood on the podium and looked at herself in the mirror, a smile breaking out on her face. The dress was strapless and mostly lace with a tight fit. It hugged all of her curves and looked great on her.

"Em, that looks great." I smiled and she turned to me with tears in her eyes. "Why are you crying?"

"I really love it." She smiled. "I'm just really happy that I'm getting married."

"You and Harry's kids will be freaking adorable." I laughed and her face went beet red. Emily went silent and frowned, making my jaw drop. "Emily, are you pregnant?"

"Please don't tell anyone." Tears fell from her eyes and I stood up to pull her into a hug. "I don't know what to tell Harry. I mean, we're only twenty one."

"Hey, stop." I pulled away from the hug. "He loves kids. Ever since I've known him, Harry always talks about having a family. There's no way he would be mad."

"I know, but, we're just so young." She cried and I frowned.

"He'll love you no matter what. You know that." I tried to console her and Emily sniffled, wiping underneath her eyes.

"We've been so careful, though!" Emily exclaimed, tossing her hands up. "I make him wear a condom and pull out in case it breaks."

"Okay, ew." I laughed, making her giggle. Just thinking about my step-brother having sex could make me shudder. "Just take a deep breath, alright? I can be with you when you tell him, if you want."

"Thank you so much, Sam." Emily hugged me a again and I smiled, happy that she had quit crying.

"So, are you gonna get the dress?" I asked after she pulled herself together.

"Does it look okay?" She asked, taking a look in the mirror.

"You look great." I smiled as she nodded.

"This is it." Emily squealed before running back to the dressing room.

I walked around the store and ran my fingers over all of the dresses, smiling to myself. I've always loved weddings. Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted am ivory gown instead of white. My smile faded at the thought of me getting married since my dad won't be here to walk me down the aisle anymore. I sighed to myself and pulled out my phone, going to Twitter.

"Samantha?" My body froze at the familiar voice and I slowly turned around to be faced with the woman I never wanted to see again. My breath hitched at the sight of her looking through wedding dresses with a man at her side.

"Mum?"