certain things

37.

I turned the timer on my phone and walked back to the bedroom, wiping a stray tear off of my face. Liam was sat in the desk chair, staring at the carpet. I sat down on the edge of the bed, leaning against the post, and pulled my knees to my chest. I stared at the wall and a tear fell down my cheek at the thought of having to do this.

The timer on my phone went off, making me jump, and I went back to the bathroom, grabbing the three white sticks. I walked to the room and Liam looked up when I sat them down on a tissue on the desk. I hesitantly flipped the first one over and took a deep breath before looking. A lump formed in my throat at the small plus sign and I flipped the second one over, seeing the same sign.

I didn't even touch the third test, knowing that it would say the same thing. I quickly left the bedroom and made my way out to the balcony of the house. I braced myself against the railing and took deep breaths, trying to stop the tears that were building in my eyes.

This can't be happening. I never wanted kids. That's why I donated my eggs. I guess they didn't get them all. I heard the door open behind me and I buried my head in my hands, feeling Liam stand beside me. He sighed and I just shook my head, not wanting to talk. I walked back inside and found a random pair of shoes, my mind a mess, and I walked to the front door, only to be pulled back by Liam.

"Sam, where are you going?" Liam sighed and I yanked my arm from his grasp.

"Can you just give me a fucking minute?" I snapped, immediately regretting my tone because of how his face fell.

I quickly turned around and left the house, jogging out to my car. I just needed to take a drive and calm myself down. I climbed into the drivers seat and backed out of the driveway, pulling onto the main road. I found myself going to the highway and I sat back in the seat, putting cruise control on.

I kept one hand on the wheel and leaned my elbow on the windowsill, putting my hand against my head. I tugged at my hair and tears filled my eyes. I kept driving, trying to clear my head, and after a while, it began to get dark. I realized that I had been driving for at least two hours. I turned around, knowing that Liam would be wondering where I was, and started going back home.

Once back in the driveway, I sat for a second, not entirely wanting to go inside. I finally shut my car off and went inside, noticing Liam sitting at the kitchen table, talking to someone intently on his phone. He looked up as I walked in and he let out a relieved sigh.

"She just got home. Thanks for looking, Harry." I sighed. Of course he called everyone to look for me. "Where have you been?" He asked after hanging up and I fumbled with my fingers in front of me.

"I took a drive." I mumbled and sat down at the table across from him, pulling my knees to my chest in the chair. "Why did you call Harry?"

"I thought you might have gone to see Emily or Gemma. I figured that you would be with one of them." I nodded and looked down at my shoes.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier." I said quietly after a while and Liam sighed.

"I'm not mad." He said and I looked over at him. "We'll figure it out, you know?"

"I donated my eggs, I just don't get how this could have happened." I stumbled over my words and Liam frowned. "I mean, neither of us have ever wanted kids and now, I just-"

I groaned in frustration and buried my head in my hands, not knowing what to say. Liam came over and bent down in front of me, pulling my hands away from my face. He offered a small smile and grabbed my hands, helping me up from the chair. He walked me back to the bathroom and sat me on the toilet. I knew what he was doing so I went ahead and undressed as he turned the bath on.

I tugged my jeans down and pulled my sweater over my head, watching him pull off his sweatpants. I got my undergarments off and sat down in the warm water, pulling my knees to my chest. Liam sat down across from me and grabbed my hands, toying with my fingers under the water. I kept my eyes on the water and Liam sighed, squeezing my hand.

"What do you wanna do?" Liam mumbled and I looked over at him in confusion. "Are you gonna get an abortion?"

"Why would I do that?" I asked, cocking my head to the side.

"Because neither of us ever wanted kids."

"Just because I never wanted to be pregnant, doesn't mean I'm going to get an abortion." I took a deep breath. "There are other options besides that."

"Will you want to keep it?" I shrugged, honestly not knowing what I wanted right now.

"What do you want to do?" I wondered, seeing as I haven't considered Liam's opinion about this whole thing.

"We could always consider adoption." I nodded and took a deep breath

Liam pulled me closer to him and the water moved around us as he lifted me onto his lap and I steadied myself, holding onto the side of the bath tub. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I toyed with the hair on the back of his neck. My mind was racing and Liam frowned, moving his thumbs over the span of my lower back.

"We'll get through this." He mumbled, almost as if he was trying to reassure himself and I nodded.

"I know." I whispered, offering a shaky smile.