certain things

17.

I looked out the window at the passing city of London and sighed a little to myself. Looking over, Liam kept his eyes locked on the road, a frown set on his lips. He gripped the steering wheel so hard that it looked as if his knuckles could burst. Liam parked in the apartment lot and stormed inside, leaving me by myself. I climbed out of the car and walked up the steps to the apartment, locking the door behind me.

"Li," I tried and he cut me off.

"Were you ever even gonna tell me?" Liam yelled and I cringed at the volume of his voice.

"I tried! Every time I was going to, I couldn't do it." I exasperated and Liam rolled his eyes.

"So were you just gonna wait until the day you left? 'Hey, Liam, I'm leaving the country. See you in six months.' God, Sam, are you stupid?" Liam shouted, throwing his hands up for emphasis and tears filled my eyes.

"I wanted to tell you so bad, Liam. You have to understand. I almost decided not to go because I didn't want to leave you." I yelled and Liam huffed.

After at least an hour of yelling and crying, the room was filled with silence and tension loomed in the air. Liam had settled himself on the couch, his head in his hands. I had sat down against the wall, my knees to my chest and the only sounds were our sniffles from crying. I wiped underneath my eyes, trying not to smear my makeup, and leaned my forehead on my knees.

"I'm sorry." I whispered after a while and Liam looked up at me, red rims adorning his brown eyes. "I should have told you."

"Yeah, you should have." Liam snapped and stood up from the couch, walking down the hallway, his bedroom door slamming behind him.

I flinched as the sound cut the silence of the apartment and finally stood up from the floor. I shut the lights off and walked to my bedroom, closing the door behind me. I kicked my heels off, throwing them in my closet, and sat down on the edge of my bed. I put my head in my hands and groaned to myself, throwing myself back on the bed. I got up and unzipped the dress, letting the purple fabric fall to the floor in a pile.

I pulled on a t-shirt that was on the floor and frowned, realizing that it was Liam's. I pulled my hair up into a bun and climbed into bed, tugging the covers to my chin. I closed my eyes, trying not to cry again, and flipped onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. I heard Liam throw something in his room and I sighed, turning over in bed.

I wanted to badly to run to his room and tell him I was sorry and that I wouldn't go. But, I knew that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. I had to go. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop the thoughts that were racing through my mind, and threw a pillow over my face. I groaned into the fabric and heard the front door shut, meaning Liam had left. I sat up and grabbed my phone, dialing Gemma's number.

"Hey, girly." She answered and I sniffled. "Sam?"

"Can you come over?" I asked, choking back a sob and Gemma agreed, hanging up.

I curled up in the covers and tears spilled from my eyes. After a while, I heard the front door open and footsteps made their way to my room. The door opened and I half hoped that it was Liam. The covers on my bed were pulled back and Gemma climbed in, pulling me into a hug. I cried into her shoulder and Gemma rubbed up and down my back, making me sit up.

"I told him and all we did was yell at each other and he left." I choked out and Gemma sighed, pulling away from the hug.

"Aww, hun." She sighed and I sniffled, wiping the tears from my face.

"I didn't want him to be upset." I cried and Gemma hugged me again. "And now, I don't know where he went."

"It's okay." Gemma whispered and I stood up from the bed. "Liam loves you, he'll come back."

"What if he doesn't?" I asked a moment later and wiped my cheeks off.

"Then I'll beat him up the next time I see him." Gemma laughed and I smiled a little. "Wanna get some ice cream and watch a movie to make you feel better?"

I nodded and followed Gemma to the kitchen. She grabbed a contained of chocolate ice cream out of the freezer along with a spoon. We went to the living room and I sat on the couch, immediately taking a bite of ice cream. Gemma put in a movie and I smiled, seeing the opening credits of Harry Potter. I leaned my head on her shoulder and Gemma smiled, putting her head on top of mine.

"When do you leave?" She asked and I sighed.

"Two weeks." I mumbled.

"Liam will come around." She reassured me and I shrugged. "I'm gonna miss you, Sam."

"Me too. I still don't know if I'm making the right choice." I shoved a bite of ice cream into my mouth.

"Don't worry to much."