•Letters•

2.

Lucas Robert Hemmings,

I left the apartment for the first time in 2 weeks today, I've lost my job. Michael and Skye are supporting me financially at the moment while I look for a new job. Skye is working on getting me a job in the pet shop they own.

When I told Noah we were going to the park today his big blue eyes just lit up and glistened like bright stars in the night sky. I was happy to just watch him running around and interacting with other kids. I wish you could see him and see how much he is growing up.

It tired him out, so fingers crossed he sleeps all night. Not that it bothers you, the bed is so empty without you. I still sleep on my side and when I roll over I expect you to be there. It's just one dissapointment after another.

A long vacation didn't sound so bad but then I remembered, I don't have any money and I have nobody but my gorgeous son to go with. Not that I'm complaining about him, he's the one who keeps me going everyday.

When I lay awake at night I think of the very last words you said to me 'I love you Jasmine Ann, you have been my world since the moment I first laid eyes on you. The first time I kissed you, I will never leave you. No matter how hard things get I'll be here right by your side.'

The never leave you part that's what stays in my mind, you did leave but I try to think about the positive times and the good times we had together.

The first holiday we ever went on, we traveled 4 hours down south to your aunties place, that dingy little caravan park where the toilets and showers were just so disgusting and the tent we took. Oh man that took us almost 3 hours to put up and it wasn't even that big.

When I had just gotten to sleep that night you squealed so loudly the whole park could hear you all because of a tiny little garden spider on your arm.

I laughed so hard that I started crying and I can still remember the pout you had. The one thing which made it funnier was your uncle running out in nothing but his underwear and a few people looked out of their tents.

That image of him in his underwear has stuck in my mind for ever since that day. Oh and that old guy we say at the beach in nothing but a speedo that was fucking disgusting, when your that old and wrinkly it should just be illegal to be seen in public like that.

We had some really good times together and they're the times I try to think about.

I love you, Noah told me today he loves you.

Lots of love Jas x

-

Hey hey

I will add Ash and Cal in there at some stage

Love you xx

~Jodie x