•Letters•

6.

Dearest Luke,

Another one of my birthdays has passed, there is still no sign of you. Not even a single word, I wish you would give me a text or a letter. Anything would be great right about now, I wish things would be normal again. But no don't know what normal is anymore.

I've been strong these past few months, you left my mind a few times and it's really helped me not thinking about you but now it's all come flooding back to me. Since you left I found out I wasn't so tough. I thought I could be tough for Noah, I was doing well but I'm going back downhill.

I have so many people helping me and helping with my emotions, a couple of days ago I just got so angry for no reason what so ever and I pounded in Calum's chest. He let me go for it and after a few minutes he grabbed my hands and pulled me into his arms just before Noah came in.

I'm glad he stopped me because I knew it was hurting him 'my pain is his pain.' That's something he says to me and it had really stuck

So, Noah is turning 3 in 5 months. I want you home to celebrate it with us. He misses his dad.

I don't know what to say to you anymore Luke, I really don't. Nothing exciting seems to happen, I don't do anything anymore. The only things we seem to do is take Buster out for a walk, Noah sits in his stroller and I hold a very hyper Busters lead in my hand.

He almost ran off and into the street today but he is become a good guard dog. Michael knocked today when he came around and Buster started to bark. I feel safe when he does that, I would feel safer if you were here.

I sit in the same spot everytime I write these letters, on the bed on my side. My music playing softly from my ipod so I can hear Noah if he needs me.

I've been letting buster sleep in my bed most nights and some nights he goes to sleep in Noah's bed. I've cried into his fur a few times.

I didn't want to tell you this but I've been practically living in one of your hoodies, I sleep in it. I wear it around the house, I don't wear it out I usally wear one of your flannels or something that has your sent on it.

Another thing I will admit is I cuddle your pillow, more then I should. Wishing and hoping it will somehow turn into you and our relationship would go back go the way it was before you left.

I love you more and more each day

Jasmine x

-

Heyy

Is he dead or his he alive? That is the big question but you all have to wait and find out

Love you xx

~ Jodie x