•Letters•

20.

Dear Jas,

Being here alone, in this big ol' empty room makes me upset. I don't know what I should be thinking, what I should be doing. These letters are my life line, I'm desperate to send them to you but I know I can't and I have a feeling that you will never reply and that you hate me that you will cut me out of your life for good.

I want to tell you the truth, I really do but I said it out loud for once. Like I was going to say it to you but the truth was like swallowing sand. My throat went all dry and scratchy. I felt like I swollowed handfuls of sand, one after the other.

It was horrible, I drank water that helped for a few minutes but then it just went all dry again.

I miss your big blue eyes staring at me in the middle of the night when you can't sleep, now I lay there wide awake every night. Thinking about you, I sleep some nights but I toss and turn.

My phone privlages have been revoked again and you still haven't been answering. Hearing your voice mail makes me, it makes me want to cry.

I miss hearing your voice, wether it's in the morning when your waking me up, when you yell at me because I put something away in the wrong spot or when we say goodnight to each other.

I stared at my razor today and considered pulling it apart just so I could use the blade but I didn't. You were in my mind, it's like you were with me.

'Your big blue eyes and blonde hair make me fall for you more and more everyday.'

That's what you would say go me every morning, even though my hair is a mess and my eyes are half closed. You would always say that to me and then I would always tell you the same thing.

It took me forever to convince you that you were beautiful in my eyes, with or without your makeup but I knew you never believed me. I like to think you do.

Your beautiful baby, I fucking love you so much.

Don't let anything get you down.

Have a good day Jas

I love you xoxo

Your truly,
Luke xoxo

-

This book is getting harder and harder to write. I know how I want it to end and I'm really keen to start on the next book

Much love xo

~ Jodie x