•Letters•

24.

Dearest Luke,

I'm starting to really miss kissing you, feeling the cold metal touching my skin and being in your arms. I had a really, really bad day last week. When I say, bad I mean bad. I flipped so badly.

Ashton and Michael coped it, Noah and Charlotte were at a play date with one of Charlotte's friends and her little brother. I walked into work and they were there so I went for it.

I've never done that before, ever. I got so worked up I started laying into Ashton, since they all literally tower over me it was easy for me to hit his chest.

Is it possible for me to be loved? Is that why you left because it's impossible for you to love me?

Tell me Luke, I need to know. That's what I've been feeling lately, like it's impossible for me to be loved. Come home and show me it's possible.

Being me isn't easy, I've fallen back into old eating habits. I stare at the cold piece of metal sitting on the bench above the bathroom sink where the kids can't see it, I think about the medication I'm on. I think about not taking it and then I think about taking them all at once.

My sister is on holidays, the boys have their own families and I'm here with my 2 kids feeling alone. Every fucking day.

I need to feel your lips against mine, I need to feel your body pressed against mine in that's big bear hug you give me when we sleep. I need that, being alone is getting harder and harder as every day goes by.

Give me my life back, your my whole life and I just feel like I'm not going to move on. Moving on is what I need but I can't without you.

I'm begging you Luke, come home. Let's run away and live our dreams, buy our dream house. Live the life we dreamed of when I was pregnant.

That's what I want, I want our dreams to come true. I fucking need you arsehole.

I'm going to crazy without you, I hate you.

Goodbye

Lots of love,
Jasmine xoxo

-

Fiesty Jasmine coming out here there is a few twists I have in mind

Byeee