suicide notes 「 jungkook 」

∥V. WOODS∥

내버려둬.
leave me alone.
어차피 난 혼자였지
i was alone anyway.

Tuesday came and my teacher decided to assign me a partnered project. We were learning about rhetoric in persuasive arguments, so we had to find a controversial issue, research it, and then one of us had to argue one side and the other one of us had to argue the other using the guidelines that she gave us.

My partner and I decided we should get started on the research early on so we wouldn't forget about it, so I called Taehyung and told him not to pick me up today; I would walk. He said to tell him if I changed my mind and he would come pick me up. But after we'd finished, I was so stressed with the hugest headache and I didn't really want to be around people because I knew I'd only snap at them. And even though I loved Taehyung more than anyone, we both knew he was an anti-remedy for a migraine.

I decided to just walk home.

The weather was nice that day. The birds were chirping and the sun was out and passing its rays on to everything, living or not, as it was accompanied by a subtly flower-scented, cool breeze. That's the thing about light; it's not discriminatory. It touches everything and everyone. Eventually.

I breathed in the fresh air as I admired the few trees in the concrete jungle. I thought that that made them prettier, the fact that they could grow in an environment that should be so harsh for them.

Suddenly I started getting notifications on my phone, causing my uniform skirt's pocket to buzz incessantly.

I took it out and turned up the brightness to combat the glare before opening the messaging app.

chimchimney: noona~ where are you~ (≧σ≦)

j-horse: yeah, we were all supposed to hang out after school today! (≧σ≦)(≧σ≦)

byuntae: minnie y u playin

byuntae: we could all be having a good time right now but u playin

I was confused for a moment before I suddenly remembered the conversation we all had at lunch, and guilt filled me.

Namjoon, Jimin and Hoseok were rehearsing for their next underground performance and invited me to come along so I could watch and give feedback. And it had been so long since we'd all hung out as a group outside of school. I was surprised that I'd completely forgotten about this when I was so excited whenever they suggested it, but then the project came up...

minniemouse: OMO

minniemouse: i'm sooo sorry guys (◉︵◉)

minniemouse: something came up and i tOTALLY forgot

byuntae: whattttt

j-horse: i fEeL sO betRAyEd (◕︵◕)

j-horse: my hearteu... my heart is (ఠ్ఠ ˓̭ ఠ్ఠ)  

chimchimney: noona what are you doingggg(∩︵∩)

I felt pretty bad at this point. I just couldn't believe that I'd forgotten! There was just so much on my mind lately, with school and grades and that caramel-blond neighbor of mine.

Just then, he crossed my mind for what must've been the fiftieth time that day. Images of his blank expression. The sound of his crying echoing in my head...

I'd been leaving him a short note every day, slipping them under his door and hoping to God that he'd find them first instead of his roommate, Yoongi. They were addressed to him, though, and Yoongi didn't really seem like the type to care enough to be meddlesome.