suicide notes 「 jungkook 」

∥IX. SHOW∥

넌 네게 왜 또 하만 내?
why are you always mad at me?

I slipped another note under Jungkook's door Wednesday night and the nights after that, all trying to convince him that the benefits of staying with his dreams outweighed the heartbreak. I was working on a list of reasons for him to stay currently. I planned on adding these to my notes as I thought of them. There were so many beautiful things that life could bring, and I wanted him to experience all of them.

When I saw him around, he still had that black bag with him, which gave me hope.

When I would wave, he'd weakly wave back, and when I would smile at him, he'd try to smile back. We even exchanged a few brief words here and there, but nothing too major.

Progress. I was making progress, slowly but surely.

I did find myself wishing that we could talk more often, though. But I didn't want to ask for his cell phone number, thinking that would be weird. We were barely even friends.

I just had to try harder to be there for him, it seemed, so I was going to put all my effort and then some into this man who I'd become so attached to in the span of a month.

It was Saturday, and time for me to do my laundry again. I'd been slacking on doing my own laundry because I'd had so much on my mind stressing me out all the time, but Jin always did it for me whenever I forgot, which I appreciated, but I still felt bad.

It was also the weekend of my friends' performance at the underground club that they'd been practicing for for weeks. They were blowing up my phone, saying they'd never forgive me if I missed it after I promised. I laughed, reassuring them all that I wouldn't miss this for the world, and, yes, I was in fact keeping my promise. I just had to get this chore out of the way first and get ready. I had plenty of time, though, as it was five o'clock in the afternoon and the venue didn't even let people in until nine.

So I quietly got all my clothes together, filling the basket we used exactly. I smiled knowing I wouldn't have to make another trip. Pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose, I picked up the basket from my bed and proceeded to carry it through my open door and down the hall into the living room.

Jin and Taehyung looked up from where they were cuddling on the couch when I entered.

"Minnie, you know you don't have to wash your clothes, right?" Jin spoke, sounding slightly concerned. "I really don't mind washing them for you."

"I know, eomma. I just want to," I said with a smile which he returned.

"You have change, right?" Taehyung asked, turning my attention to him. I didn't need it for the washer machines, but I did say something about wanting snack food earlier, and there was a vending machine down there that Jin suggested I use because we had no snack food and he wouldn't be cooking dinner for a few more hours. I would also need money to ride the bus to get to the venue, which was definitely more important.

I'd gotten over my slight annoyance with him shortly after we got back to the apartment last Wednesday, and apologized for my being rude. I'd realized that he was just looking after me and it was my fault for failing to keep him updated and worrying him.

But I was still holding a grudge against myself for not thinking of the right words when I had the chance, when Jungkook was standing right next to me.