suicide notes 「 jungkook 」

sunday, 12/18/16, 12:00 am.

you . . .

i guess you weren't so crazy to suspect

that some of my friends had feelings for me.

actually, just one.

i know you'll probably never read these,

and if you did you'd be angry,

but i need to get this off my chest.

he kissed me.

i know that'll hurt you,

so that's why i haven't told you.

but don't worry.

i rejected him.

because the only thing i could think about

when he asked me out

was you.

you,

you,

you.

you're my every thought

from the moment i wake,

through the nightmares,

to when my eyes snap open in fright.

all i can see is you.

some call it unhealthy.

i call it love.

because, after all, that's what love is.

unhealthy.

but something you'd do anything to protect,

a person you'd do anything to preserve,

to fulfill,

even at the cost of your own destruction.

because you've put

them

above yourself.

that's how you know the love is true.

that's what i'd done with you

from the start,

with those notes

you returned to me personally.

but you didn't believe

that my intentions were true,

that my love for you was true,

that when i told you about this

strange ability of mine . . .

that everything was true, from the beginning.

why don't you ever believe the truth?

is your self-hatred keeping you from seeing it?

i haven't been crying, but

i have been plagued with thoughts of you,

all the memories,

good and bad.

and now it's 12:00 am exactly,

and tomorrow has begun.

tomorrows should mark a new day,

a new beginning.

but we're just back here,

back in the darkness

where we started.

is it really . . .

is it really too ruined, like you said

in your thoughts

when you confronted me with the notes

i wrote you?

when you left me?

will that really be the last time?

is there no beginning or end with you?

is there no tomorrow . . . ?

without you, there wouldn't be either.

there wouldn't be anything . . .

are we just stuck?

-k.m.a