everything was red.
the blood that pooled in the snow,
draining itself from your cheeks,
the life from your body.
the lights in the distance of the ambulance.
the stretcher the paramedics threw you onto.
the world turned red in an instant.
and all i could do was stare blankly ahead,
because it felt like my heart was dying with you,
laying red,
pounding harshly in your limp hands
as they rolled you into the ambulance.
paramedics crowded around me,
asking me a million questions
that i couldn't answer.
i couldn't understand their voices
as they echoed around,
sounding as faint as if they were under water.
my eyes were open, though,
and through the water in my eyes,
the world was blurry, uncertain.
the world was empty, cold, lifeless
as i looked down at you
and we drove at a million miles per hour
to the nearest hospital,
the paramedics checking your vitals every second.
they said you were still alive,
but that didn't help at all.
it still felt like we were dying.
we were withering like a rose in a drought.
soon reality's sun would burn us to a crisp.
i was thinking these things as
they rushed you into the emergency room,
a few nurses pulling me roughly behind them.
i couldn't even tell them that
my leg was still injured
and that every step we took closer
to the room they rolled you into
sent another shot of agony
through my entire being.
i was just a zombie,
barely holding myself together.
everyone was interrogating me.
but i could do nothing but burst into tears again
when i looked through the window in the door
to see them crowded around you,
hooking you up to machines,
frantically stitching the cuts on your arms.
i wished they could stitch me back together, too.
i was in pieces just looking at your lifeless body.
through the door,
they held me back as i thrashed in their arms.
i was a mindless zombie, my body
not under my control.
nothing was under my control.
we were at the mercy of fate.
the only thing driving me was the
need to see you before your heart finally stopped,
before their procedures failed.
a nurse put a needle in my arm
as two others held me as still as was possible
in my frenzied state,
sedating me,
sedating the zombie.
the last thing i saw before my body went limp,
before my vision blurred and then
became nothing but empty, pitch blackness . . .
was the heart monitor.
the flat line that suddenly,
by some miracle,
showed one measly, feeble
heart
b e a t . . .
and from the moment i woke up
with a cast around my leg,
a dry throat,
and tears still in my eyes . . .
the only thing i wanted
was for you to do the same.
-k.m.a
YOU ARE READING
suicide notes 「 jungkook 」
Fanfiction❝ usually, when people say they want to be alone, they don't mean it. they're just angry because they've been sad for so long . ❞ ❝ what would you know about that ? ❞ in which a strange girl leaves notes for the broken so they can make it through t...
