When you hold back your tears so much, it starts to become natural, and you can’t even cry when you want to. Why do I care?? Why do I just want everything back, only to happen the right way?? Why am I even talking?? I’ve been so hurt the past two days. The only thing I could barely even do is wrap my mind around this. But it’s just mainly “hurt”. That’s it. I’m just so numb that’s just about what I could wrap my mind around. Nothing else. My mind is only telling me “hurt”. I may act fine, but I’m not. Especially when I cry. I can’t do that. I can’t have my mom see me cry. Then she will just snoop and bug me until I tell her why. Hurting myself isn’t even working much anymore. I don’t cut. Yet… But I will scratch the hell out of my arms. I just. I’m so messed up as to I can’t even tell you what I’m writing. I can’t tell you what I just said to you. My brain shut off… I really liked you.. Like you… But I can’t. You could just do this again, but only this time to me. You. I’m not her. You want her. You fucked up, I see that. I don’t know why you want me back. I wouldn’t want me back… I’m not her… I’ll always be second. Especially to her. It hurt being on the phone with you two last night. But it’s what made realize all of this. It’s why I got so quiet. I don’t want to be a girl… I want to be THE girl. The one you’re crazy over. The one you’ll tell your friends about. The one who you actually won’t give up for anything. The one and only… But everything that just happened shows that I will never be that. And I guess I’m sorry…
I Love You….
You’re Still Imperfectly Perfect<3
YOU ARE READING
Feelings...
RandomJust an everything of all mi feelings. Stories. Letters. Notes. Like a little diary. Everything in here is based on what I'm feeling at the time. Thanks
