Feelings...

Message to him

   Ok... So honestly.. This is called being honest by the way... It really hurt seeing all that and seeing just how much you cared about me. All that stuff is gonna be flashing through my head for a long while. I hate when you say you love me, because you never have if you did all of that. Or just said it. I feel used. Again. I thought you’d be the one to make me happy again. Make me forget about all those guys. Make me forget about Samuel... But you’ve hurt me worse. I still want you alive. So don’t kill yourself, otherwise I will leave a huge ass scar on my arm. Maybe even more. Maybe one day we will be back together... But you have to want it. You have to stop all the cheating. All the flirting with other girls. And the whole "natural flirt" thing is just an excuse. I'm pretty sure you could stop that if you wanted. Please, keep yourself in your pants.  I trusted you. With so much. I wasn’t even mad. Just very disappointed. I hope you see this as an opportunity to change. But we won’t be together for a very long time. And I don’t know how long it’ll take to get my trust back. You say you love me, then prove it. And it might help if you stop telling girls (doesn’t matter who they are) that you love them. As of right now you’re single. Start changing for the better. I do want you happy. I think I might need some time away from you though. You could text me or reply to this if you want. Please don’t tell me you love me anymore. At least not for a while. Not unless we date again. And after that. But it will take probably a few years until you do have that chance again. And that’s only if you start changing now. And if you care for me enough, you’ll change for me. I might cry myself to sleep tonight whenever I do shut this off and go to bed. I just wish u would of told me how you felt and that you weren’t happy with me anymore.... Goodnight