Fuckin’ breakdowns… Thank God this is getting better. I’m not having them all the time like I use to. I remember having them every night. I hate being so freakin’ stressed out. I’m so terrible. I hate having to listen to fun and happy songs just to cheer up enough to stop crying. I started listening to songs on YouTube to listen to while doing my homework. But I found the song about suicide by BOTDF. You Are The Heart. Then I found “Don’t Cut”, and I couldn’t help it.. I don’t cut, but I couldn’t help but to cry at least a little. It made me think of when I had thoughts about suicide, and how this guy I’m ‘talking to’ would feel. I known him for at least 3yrs. I’m way closer to running away than killing myself. It’s mainly mom. She always yells at me, even when it’s her fault. She doesn’t let me out of the house. She even fuckin’ pulled me out of church with the person we were staying with just so she didn’t have to go 45 minutes away from me. I crave for someone to come kidnap me. It’s so bad I even had a dream about running away. And that day wasn’t even that bad. Sleep is my only escape. And yet as soon as it’s here, she takes it away from me… She’s my monster under my bed. I’m not scared. But she keeps me captured and contained.
Please…. Somebody help me…
Bye…
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Feelings...
RandomJust an everything of all mi feelings. Stories. Letters. Notes. Like a little diary. Everything in here is based on what I'm feeling at the time. Thanks
