Feelings...

Still in my head...

    So like. I don’t really know what to say about you. I was looking back on some of our emails tonight. I don’t know why but Wattpad deleted our messages. Fucking Wattpad… You probably don’t look at my stuff, so I don’t know why I address you. I guess it’s just easier than writing “him” or “he” or anything. Sometimes I wanna fool myself for a second and think that you do miss me, that some of the things you told me were true. You know, about the liked talking to me, that you don’t wanna stop, things like that. But I know I’m just fooling myself. I don’t let myself think that. The closest I come is when I consider it. But I know better. I know those were just lies to twist the knife. I smiled at some of the things we said. Like it was looking back at old conversations between old friends. I don’t know why. Sometimes I find myself wondering what you’re doing. Probably not caring. Possibly banging some girls. It wouldn’t surprise me. You reminded me a little of Mike or Pauly D from Jersey Shore honestly… Sometimes I just wanna email that old address. But I could never find the words or anything. I don’t even know why I want to. I don’t really know what to say. I hope you don’t still think I’m all into you and would do anything for you. I wouldn’t. And I’m proud to say that. Really proud. Sometimes I hope you’ll message me though. Just to talk I guess. I honestly don’t know why I want to talk to you. I guess I just always wanted things to turn out differently. I wish they did… I wonder if you ever think about me… But there I go doing that again.. I’m pretty sure you forgotten all about me. I guess I’ll just let my readers go and read something better...

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