Feelings...

The break up

   I feel broken. Like I lost everything. Like I need to be hurt. I really want to be hurt. Physically. I’m so sorry for every wrong thing I did. Every wrong thing I said. Nothing is hurting me. I just tore up my leg. I would do anything to make him happy. I just really wish I could be that. I’m probably gonna be up all night. This boy meant so much to me. He means so much to me. He’s my love. My heart. My soul. I just wish I had one more chance. I really fucked up. I would forgive him for everything if it means having him to hold again. I wish I could just wake up and calling him and tell him this was the worst nightmare I’ve ever had. I feel like puking. I love him more…. I stayed through all the bad times. God damn it, why do I love him so much?!! He’s hurt me in every single way possible. I don’t want to give up. I want to fight for him. But I really can’t. This is what he wants.