Super Simulator

Chapter 35- Ultimate Dad Joke

I fell asleep in my bed, surely I have the right. Don't I?

I felt drowsy as I heard whispers around me.

"She's back?"

"When did she get back?"

"Shh, don't wake her! She needs her sleep."

"FUCK NO! EMERA WAKE UP WE HAVE SHIT TO TALK ABOUT!!"

With that, I sprung up in my bed, the fact someone was screaming in my ear a minute ago. "WHAT THE HELL TURD FACE!" I yelled. Apparently Tyler was the one that yelled at me. I threw a pillow at him as it hit him square  in the face, causing him to topple over.

It was Marcus, Bailey, Richard, Carlyn, Zoey, and Tyler. There was no sign of Chase, Bitchy, or Jason.

"What are you guys doing in my room?" I grumbled. It was creepy, them just standing there while I slept.  Rapists.

"Us?! What are YOU doing here, Emera?!" Marcus asked coldly.

"Um, I live here?" I told them. "I don't recall you guys kicking me out."

"You were GONE! You disappeared in front of our very eyes! You weren't here for like, 3 weeks! We were worried and depressed and-" Bailey said. I clamped a hand over her mouth. "Your voice is getting annoying at the moment, plus shit happens," I gave a weak smile.

Everyone still seemed flabbergasted to see me, alive and home.

"Oh! By the way, before I forget. Stacie is the one who found the book," I yawned. The others looked at  each other in alarm.

"How do you know?" Carlyn asked me. I shrugged, "I know everything. Wanna know why?" At those words all of my friends leaned in closer at once.

"BECAUSE I IS ASIAN JESUS!" I shouted. Some of them stumbled back.

"You're only half Asian," Zoey mumbled. I waved the comment away, "It still counts for something right?"

I hopped out of my bed and headed to the kitchen. I was still wearing the Galaxy sundress, but it was still clean and good to use.

The others trailed behind me, confused with how I was acting.

"Where did you come from?"

"Where did you go?"

"Where did you come from cotton-eye Joe?" I finished for them.

"Why are you so calm about your disappearance? What happened . . . you seem different," Richard said.

"Well look who is being serious, for once in a while," I laughed. Richard would usually make a ridiculous comment.

"Emera, we're serious!" Tyler said.

"Hi Serious; I'm Emera. I'm confused why you all have the same name, though." I laughed. ULTIMATE DAD JOKE!

"Emera, seriously. We're worried." Carlyn said. What, you think I'm crazy?

"No, you're Serious." I chuckled.

Bailey sighed, "Please tell my you're joking, right?"

I frowned, "Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm Emera."

"Quit it come on Emera!" Marcus said. I rolled my eyes, "I've only been here for a day, and you guys are pestering me already?"

"You've been here for a day?!" Tyler said.

"Oh, sweetie, I've been everywhere and nowhere," I sigh.

"Why did you leave?" Carlyn asked. "It wasn't my choice. Really, I'm disappointed in you guys. You should know better. I would never leave your side on purpose. You're family." I take a deep breath, getting the blueberry muffin.

"Well, what happened?" Zoey asked.

I shrugged. "Some parts were hell; some parts were bliss. I had to do a few things and then they would send me back. You guys are idiots if you'd think I'd ever abandon you."

"Why are you being so secretive?" Richard asked me. I shrugged. "I know too much, and can only tell too little. I have my reasons, trust me. It's not my job to ruin things and make things here chaos."

With that I ate and got up, leaving and walking through the walls.

I laughed to myself. "Spencer, I know you're watching. And despite all you know about me, I have a confession. Despite what you might think, I'm the opposite of perfect; I'm awful. A monster. I'm the perfect blend of insecurity and self-obsessiveness."

All at once every pen turned to Carlyn. The girl only sighed and breathed two words: "She's awake."

Stacie then came into the room, looking a little disheveled, but pretty as usual.

I didn't notice what she was holding behind her back until she pulled it out.

It was a pair of scissors.

She ran towards me and grabbed all of my hosen in one fist, and chopped it off.

The rest fell to my shoulders, inches below and inches cut off.

Those inches still in Stacie's grasp.

I looked towards her in alarm. BITCH!

She looked at the hair she was holding, I was surprised she cut evenly.

"You had split ends you know."

With that I used the telekinesis on her and threw her to the wall, grabbing the scissors.

She growled at me. "Emera don't you dare!" I only grinned at her, "Dare, huh? Good thing I never turn down dares." I stalk closer to her.

"You know what they say, an eye for an eye." As I snipped the rest of her purple and blond hair to where she had the exact same length as mine.

I dropped the scissors, letting them give a large clang against the floor.

Stacie was free from my grasp as she lunged towards me, hurtling us to the floor as we crashed against the wood.

We started throwing punches and scratches and kicks and bikes before Bailey dragged Stacie to one end of the room and Zoey knocked me over with a gust of wind to the other wall.

Stacie was clawing at Bailey to let her go, causing the latter to get a few scratches but since she is no longer able to feel pain, it didn't impact her the slightest.

"You . . . Left . . . Us . . .You left . . . Jason . . ." Stacie heaved as she tried to escape Bailey's grasp. The wind was knocking the air out of me too. "It wasn't  . . .My . . .Choice . . ." I groaned, barely able to breathe from fighting off the wind.

Zoey and Bailey nodded to each other as they both let us go. We dropped to the floor, trying to catch our breath and too tired to attack one another again, but we still sent death glares to each other. Her purple eyes narrowed.

"You left him . . . I picked him back up . . ." Her breath evened out. Stacie was struggling to contain her anger, as was I.

"I wouldn't leave him in your clutches . . . I never . . . I never meant to . . . In a sense, I was kidnapped. . . I will always care for Jason . . . It was . . . Has . . . And will always be that way . . ." I heaved.

"The game has changed . . . Emera . . . He has more than one choice . . ." Stacie smirked, her breathing under control.

I smiled at her.

"So do I."