Super Simulator

Chapter 42- Petulant Cumshot

We finally made it to the garden. We stood underneath the blossom swing, sitting on the swing. Simply swinging back and forth, back and forth. Oh God...

The pink petals fell and I could barely tell the faint hint of their color during the night. They fell to the ground, drifting and swirling before settling onto the grass. One flower fell into my hair, and Jason plucked it out and put it back in, behind my ear. He smiled, when I noticed something.

"Your braces!" I said. His hand flew up to his mouth, suddenly aware they were no longer there. When we first came here my braces were  clear. My fingertips touched my teeth, finding the smooth glassy texture of my teeth.

"Guess they took them out and I just never noticed . . ." I mumbled.

My heart was going at the rate of a hummingbird, and I was tense.  We were shoulder to shoulder, and very close. I could hear his steady breath and his heart pumping a steady beat. His breath was close and hot as he bit his lip, looking at me with his intense blue eyes. My body stiffened against his as I let out a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

"Jason, there's something I need to tell you . . ." I said. He looked at me with confusion, obviously noticing my downcast expression and tension.

I continued, "When I was gone, I met someone. He had been watching me my entire life, as all the scientists were. Except, he was the only one our age, because his sister was there on an internship. He, well, fell in love with me. And when we met there, I guess some feelings were there. He comforted me when I was down, and he confessed. I gave him a peck, but the smallest one. It wasn't a first kiss. Then I left and came back here. Yesterday he came back and tried to get me to come back with him. I said no since you guys are my family."

I looked up from my lap to study his expression. His mouth was in a grim, tight line. I didn't expect him to fight for me. Hell, I wouldn't fight for me. I'm not worth fighting for. I expect Jason to give up on me already, even if there is no fight. Because I'm not worth much.

"So, you love him now, huh?" His voice was a husky whisper, so quiet I could barely hear the crack in his voice threatening to break through.

My heart started skipping beats, it was going so fast. So fast, an experienced drummer wouldn't be able to do the fast beat.

"No, that's . . .one of the things I needed to tell you . . . I told him I couldn't be with him. He didn't really love me, he just liked what he thought was me. And I was just using him for rebound because you weren't there . . ." I sighed.

"What are saying?" Jason said, his voice even.

Well, here it is.

"What I'm trying to say, Jason is that even if you pick Stacie over me, even if you don't feel the same way. I'll be fine with whatever you choose because all I want is your happiness."  I started gnawing on my lip, I could feel them turning pink, as well as my cheeks.

"What I'm trying to say, Jason . . . Is . . ." I trailed off. My limbs went numb and tense.  My chest was getting tight, and there was a lump in my throat. My head was ringing from my brain to my eardrums. I was so nervous, I was afraid I was going to sweat too much. I gnawed on my lower lip harder than before, my hands rolled up into fists. I couldn't feel the pain, but I was sure that the palms of my hands had little crescents in them. Time seemed to stand still, unlike what Stacie could do.  "I . . . I love you," I whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear. It seemed like all the tension, emotions and feelings that have been building up stopped, and were just waiting for his reply. 

I felt stiff, almost wincing to see his reaction. I felt how you would when you're waiting to be slapped, tense and waiting for it to strike you. I knew rejection, though, would hurt far more.