"Hello?" Pt. 1

January 19th, 2016

"Hello, Pug"

"..."

[CALL DISCONNECTED]

~*~*~

"..."

"I know you're there, Pug."

"..."

[CALL DISCONNECTED]

*~*~*

"I have the feeling you're ignoring me."

"Why would you think that?"

"Pug, you're there!"

"..."

[CALL DISCONNECTED]

~*~*~

"If I promise to stop calling you 'Pug', will you stay on the line and talk to me?"

"Yes."

"That's good to hear, Pug."

"..."

[CALL DISCONNECTED]

~*~*~

"You know, there's a double standards about this whole thing. You get to call me things like duck, Brother of Jesus, Danny Boy, Danny Duck, but I'm not allowed to call you Pug."

"One rule for me, another for you."

"That hardly seems fair."

"Life isn't fair."

"True. Life can be unimaginably cruel at times. For example, babies can be born looking like Pugs."

"Or your girlfriend shags your brother, Jesus."

"..."

"Shit! Daniel, I didn't mean that."

"..."

"Daniel?"

"..."

"I'm sorry. Really sorry."

"So you bloody well should be."

"No, really, I am so far beyond sorry. You have to believe me. I'm having a really shitty day and I'm taking it out on you and I'm being a bitch for no reason."

"You're always a sarcastic bitch for no reason."

"Very true, but today I'm just a mean bitch. I hate jet lag. Not that that's an excuse for being incontestably rude to you."

"Well, look at you. You're breaking out the big words. You must really be feeling apologetic."

"I am."

"Then, I guess I'll just have to forgive you, Pug."

"I'll give you a free pass on that one. But just this once. Never call me 'Pug' again."

"Boo. I happen to like it."

"I don't. Obviously."

"Why is that?"

"Because my parents thought I looked like a dog! Babies are supposed to be cute. Pugs are not cute."

"I'm sure there are some people out there that think they're cute. It's like a fetish or something."

"Seriously?"

"It's not unheard of. People have strange desires for many things, including objects."