"Hello?" Pt. 1

February 18th, 2016

"Hi!"

"Why are you calling me so early? Need me to come and kill another spider for you?"

"Ha freaking ha. No, there's no spider I need you to kill. And what's wrong with me calling you early?"

"It's almost five, Sophie."

"I know, I have a clock. Several, in fact, like my computer clock, my phone clock, my watch..."

"Yeah, but you either call me around lunch time or later on in the evening. I'm curious why you're calling me this early."

"I'm going out tonight so I won't be able to call you late. Unless it's like elven pm and I don't like calling you too late."

"You rang just shy of midnight last night."

"That was an emergency."

"It really wasn't."

"Don't complain, you got a really nice cup of tea out of it."

"Yeah and a bad back."

"I told you my spare room bed was uncomfortable."

"Well, I told you that it wasn't necessary for me to sleep over."

"But... what if the spider came back?"

"I killed it, Sophie."

"A cousin?"

"There was no more spiders, Soph!"

"No, because you stayed over."

"No, because there were no more spiders. You made me stay over for nothing."

"Hey! I made you breakfast!"

"No, you bought me a Starbucks on the way to work."

"I still paid, though."

"In that case, your place in Heaven is guaranteed."

"Oh, please. I'm going to Hell and we both know it."

"True."

"So, did you make it to work ok?"

"No thanks to you but yes, I did. A little later than usual but I didn't have any meetings and Evelyn covered for me."

"Cool. Thanks for the lift in, by the way. Much appreciated."

"No worries. So, where are you going tonight?"

"Cinema."

"To see?"

"Spotlight."

"On your own?"

"On a date."

"Oh, cool."

"Yeah, so I won't be home later to call you."

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Cool."

"So... was there anything else you wanted, or...?"

"No, just calling to say thanks for last night. And this morning. Again."

"You're welcome. Any time."

"Any time, huh?"

"Galeanthropy transcends time."

"That's just a posh way of saying any time, Daniel."

"I know."

"Well, thanks. Same applies to you, too. Although, with your emergency, you may need to call me a few times before I pick up."

"Seriously?"

"I'm a heavy sleeper."

"As I found out this morning when I was knocking on your door for half an hour."

"I'm a very heavy sleeper. I could sleep through an earthquake, my mother says."

"I have to go, Sophie. I'm heading into a meeting now."

"Sure thing. I'll phone you tomorrow. By the way, have you noticed that I'm the one doing most of the phoning these days?"

"I had noticed, yes. Do you want a gold star?"

"Can I?"

"No."

"I'll just give myself a pat on the back then."

"You do that, alligator."

"Consider it done, crocodile."

"Bye, you nutter."

"Peace out."

"Christ, she's lost the bloody plot!"

"I can still hear you."

[Call ended]