"Hello?" Pt. 1

March 26th 2016

"Do you know what I just realised?"

"The earth is round?"

"Apart from that."

"What?"

"You're leaving in less than a week."

"Yep."

"I just... it's gone quick, that's all. You're leaving on April 1st and time has just flown. I mean, four months ago, I didn't know you, now look at us."

"Time flies when you're having fun."

"Fun?"

"Yeah. Talking to you is fun."

"I needed an ego boost today, so thanks."

"You're welcome. What's got you down that you needed a boost anyhow?"

"My brother."

"Ah, the lovely Samuel. How is he?"

"Still the same prick he was before. Thanks for asking."

"Seriously, what's he done to upset you so?"

"Oh, you know."

"Right, because I can read your mind."

"Just the usual. Ever since he met you at Connie's all those weeks ago, he's been windin me up about you."

"And that's got you all bothered?"

"Duh. He keeps telling me how he's going to 'nail you so hard' and 'make you scream.' Do you know how annoying that is?"

"Ew, that's just... the only thing I'll be screaming is for him to get away from me."

"Trust me, he won't even get close enough to you to try anything."

"Why, are you going to stop him?"

"With all my might."

"My hero."

"I like to think so."

"I'm gonna take a guess and say that you're at your grandmother's place today."

"You guess correctly. When she found out that I was going to spend Easter Sunday with you and your family, she pitched a fit and demanded that we visit her today."

"You don't have to spend all day with my family. You can always have dinner with your family if you want."

"No, thank you. I've already done my stint today, I'm not extending it into tomorrow, too. Plus, all the other family members will be here tomorrow and I'd rather avoid them, if I'm being honest. They're all unhinged."

"Haha, well my family are no better. I've just found out that we're having a huge lunch thing tomorrow with all my family. From my father's side, anyway. Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. The whole zoo is in town. This is you last chance to back out."

"See, that's the difference between you and I. You call your family 'the zoo' and I call mine 'the asylum.' Personally, I think a zoo is a much better option than an asylum."

"Well, I'm the opposite. I oppose animals being kept in captivity, which essentially sums up my family because once you're in it, there's no chance of having your freedom ever again. At least in the asylum I'll be with like-minded people."

"You know you just called yourself crazy, right?"

"I've been called worse."

"I'm sure you have. So, how many of you family will be there in total?"