"Hello?" Pt. 1

January 15th, 2016

"HELLO?"

"Why are you shouting?"

"DANIEL?"

"Are you in a pub?"

"NO! COCKTAIL BAR."

"Oh, ok. Well, enjoy your night out and I'll speak to you tomorrow."

"WAIT A SECOND!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Ok, shoot. What's up, duck?"

"Nothing's up."

"The inflection in your voice says otherwise. Now, spill."

"I don't even know how, or where, to being."

"Was it Mary Poppins or Maria that sang, 'start at the very beginning'?"

"What?"

"There's a song, I'm sure, in a Julie Andrews film that goes, 'start at the very beginning.' I just can't remember which film it was. Maybe I'm just thinking it's in one of those but in actuality, it isn't."

"Right. And how is this important to the conversation at hand?"

"Oh, it isn't, really. I just wanted you to start at the beginning of your story."

"You could have just said that."

"Mhm, I could have. But I didn't."

"I'm going on a date tomorrow night."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Sophie?"

"..."

"I know you're still there, Soph."

"..."

"Sophie!"

"A date? You? You are going on a date?"

"Unfortunately."

"Call me stupid-"

"Haha. Seriously, may I?"

"No. If you're so bummed about going on this date, why exactly are you going?"

"I'll give you one guess."

"Gangster Granny?"

"Hole in one."

"I'm a great golfer."

"Noted."

"So, you're going because your Gangster Granny told you to? By the way, what's your grandmother's name. It feels somewhat disrespectful that I'm calling her a gangster."

"Constance, and I'm going because she's threatening to set me up with her friend's God awful granddaughter that I've hated since we were three."

"Best of a bad situation, huh?"

"Something like that."

"Well, it won't- It's occupied! - It won't be that bad, I'm sure."

"What's occupied?"

"Huh?"

"It's 'pardon,' not 'huh.' Now, what is occupied?"

"Pardon?"

"What is-"

"The bathroom stall that I'm Currently stood in."