Sophie Delaney was just minding her own business seeing in the new year from the peacefulness of her own home. Until one wrong number call changed that.
Daniel Whitaker is furious. Beyond furious. How dare his girlfriend cheat on him, and with his...
Unedited. I'm feeling much better today! So, here's an awkward/funny/WTF kind of update for you!
Sarah, xx
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It's wine o'clock! Soph x
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"You're drinking wine at four pm?"
"Well, it's nine pm at home, so..."
"But it's four where you are."
"What did you say to me yesterday? Semantics?"
"Why are you drinking this early in the day? Had New York turned you into an alcoholic?"
"I'm meeting someone at Klein's for an early dinner."
"Someone?"
"A Broadway actor. He's Tony nominated."
"Tony?"
"The biggest award in theatreland. It's in a couple of weeks so we need to get an interview in the bag for the online features."
"Does he have a name?"
"Zachary."
"Zachary. Still think Daniel and Sophie sounds better than Zachary and Sophie."
"Sophie and Zachary has a nice ring to it."
"No it doesn't."
"What about Zophie. That's cute, right?"
"You're not funny."
"I am. You just don't appreciate my sense of humour."
"You don't have a sense of humour."
"No, but I have an abusive boyfriend."
"An abusive boyfriend?"
"Who says I don't have a sense of humour!"
"Are you hearing what you're saying or is your mouth on automatic?"
"What?"
"Sophie, what did you call me?"
"My boyfriend."
"Did you do it by accident?"
"No."
"So, wait... what?"
"I was not calling you my boyfriend by accident."
"Yeah, but... what?"
"Do you have a problem with me calling you my boyfriend?"
"No, it's just... when did we have this talk?"
"Now."
"Yeah, but..."
"Well, this is the shortest relationship I've ever had."
"No! Wait... I need to think."
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"Are you done thinking yet?"
"No."
"Shall we have this conversation tomorrow instead?"
"Um... no. Just... I haven't taken you out on a date yet."
"What's that got to do with it?"
"Well, you might decide that you don't like me. Our first date could be a disaster and you'll never want to see me again."
"Yes, but I already know what you're like and I still chose to refer to you as my boyfriend whenever someone asks who I'm constantly phoning back home."
"We haven't had sex."
"Your point?"
"I read and article about this couple that abstained from sex until their wedding night. Turns out, the woman was allergic to her husband's sperm."
"What does this have to do with anything?"
"You might be allergic to my sperm."
"Oh, for crying out loud! Look, Daniel, once you're finished with your freak out, call me back, ok?"
"..."
"Great. I'll speak to you soon. Or never. Good bye, baboon."
