"Hello?" Pt. 1

May 2nd 2016

Dedicated to @rinbowunicorn 

~*~*~

"Save me!"

"From?"

"My mother."

"Is it bad that I'd rather sacrifice you instead?"

"Yes."

"It's a self-preservation thing."

"I hate you."

"Why do you need saving?"

"If I tell you, would you come and save me then?"

"It depends on what I'm dealing with. So, what's going on?"

"I'm getting ready for the Met Gala tonight and my mother is insisting that I cut my hair."

"And?"

"She wants to cut my hair!"

"Wait, this is why you want me to save you? Because your mother wants you to cut your hair?"

"Yes! Obviously!"

"I take it that you don't want to cut your hair."

"No!"

"Then tell Camille that."

"It's unnerving that you think that it's that easy."

"It is that easy. Tell her that you're not cutting your hair."

"You're no help, Daniel."

"Did you honestly think I would be?"

"It was worth a try, at least."

"Other than the whole haircut fiasco going on, how's the rest of the planning going?"

"It's so boring! I mean, I always thought that going to the Met Gala would be glamorous, but this? Urgh, it's anything but glamorous. I've been plucked and waxed to within an inch of my life. I've exfloliated a thousand times so my skin is prime for some bronzing. I have three make up artists, two hairdressers and a stylist at hand because at the moment, we don't know which shoes I'll be wearing because we don't know what dress I'll be wearing! God, this is stressful! -Jasmine!-"

<<Yeah, boss?>>

"-I will pay you a million bucks to get me the hell out of here!-"

<<As much as I like the sound of that, want to know what I like more?>>

"-What?-"

<<My life. Which wouldn't be worth living if I crossed your mom. Hey, shouldn't you be with the beautician right now?>>

"You have a beautician there, too?"

"Apparently. -Why is there a beautician here?-"

<<Manis and pedis. Now, hurry up. Oh, and tell Daniel to take it easy on his brother next time they box.>>

"-What, why?- Daniel, what did you do to Samuel?"

"Nothing!"

<<He split Sam's lip.>>

"You split Sam's lip?"

<<He looks like he went ten rounds against Mike Tyson.>>

"Ok, she's being dramatic when she says that!"

"Really, you don't say!"

"Just trying to clear the air."

"Why the hell were you boxing anyway?"

"Brotherly bonding."

"How'd that go?"

"We didn't kill each other."

"That's progress."

"Elias and Nola were there as well."

"Yeah? And?"

"And, what?"

"How is that going?"

"Better than it's ever been, actually. Did you know that he's been finishing work early this past week so that he can go pick Nola up from school?"

"I did know that, actually. Nola fills me in whenever I call."

"I still can't get over the fact that you call her every night."

"I like her. She's a cute kid."

"Yeah, I know. I've been meaning to ask, though- what did you say to Elias to get him to be like this?"

"There were some threats made."

"And what else? I know Elias, and I've been threatening him for years but he's never taken any of them seriously. Why would he suddenly start listening to you?"

"Did you ever try threatening him in French? It's pretty effective."

"So, you just threatened him in French?"

"I may have also told him that he'd regret not getting to know his little girl. Nola's beautiful, funny, intelligent... and he's been missing out on all the best things about having a daughter. Some people never get the chance to experience being a parent, and then you have those that shirk their responsibilities. Then I told him to man the fuck up."

"Unbelievable. He'll listen to you when you say all that, but when I do it, he ignores me for the better part of seven years. " 

"What can I say? He likes me better."

"He never could resist a beautiful woman with a fabulous smile and a breathless voice."

"..."

"I mean, uh, you know... No, I'm not even going to try and back track on that."

"Thank you."

"For?"

"The compliments. Thank you."

"You're welcome?"

"Oh, no!"

"What?"

"My mother is glaring at me."

"Run!"

"I think it's too late. She's seen me."

"In that case- good luck!"

"Don't hang up on me!"

"Sorry, you're on your own with this."

"Daniel, I swear-"

"Later, alligator."

"Daniel!"

"Bye."

[End call]